


A Love Like Ours

by StackerPentecost



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Consensual Kink, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Explicit Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Pegging, Rimming, Self-Esteem Issues, Tags May Change, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-01-03 00:00:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 36,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StackerPentecost/pseuds/StackerPentecost
Summary: Vox is an ex soldier and hired contractor who isn't afraid of getting her hands dirty. She's known for being ruthless and efficient, wielding a sword gifted from a long dead lover. But beneath the cold exterior she exudes on the job is a woman left maimed and scarred by her past both literally and figuratively. Amsterdam is the only safe harbor she's found from the people that would see her dead.Billy Russo was born on an army base overseas to a mother that would've sooner sold him off than cared for him. On his own after his father was killed in action and his mother returned to the States alone, he turned to prostitution as a means of getting by. In a place where brothels dot the red light district, he finds a certain success as the highest paid suitor among a crowd of others.They meet by chance, on an impulse. One night lights a spark that seems to glow brighter by the day. But will her past slowly catch up with her, until both their lives hang in the balance?-----In which an assassin and prostitute fall in love, there's lots of gratuitous and kinky sex and some murder to boot.This fic was formerly known as 'Let Me Burn'.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea if this will be anyone's flavor or if anyone will read this but this idea has been floating around in my head for probably more than a year and I still love it as much as I did then. So I guess here goes nothing. Also shoutout to wheatfromchaff for inspiring me to post my own garbage because of heart of a dog story (which if you like frankenbilly and aus is fucking amazing and I'm not finished with it yet). The name Beaut reminds me of the show as well as the story.  


She had no idea what she was doing here. It had been raining steadily for what seemed to be days and showed no sign of stopping and here she was wandering around the red light district of all places. Maybe it was the idea that a place like this was utterly legal here, that you could legitimately list your profession as a prostitute working in a brothel, maybe that drew her in. And there wasn’t just one seedy place hidden down a side alley, these places were front and center, taking up the windows on the street as though they were just another flower shop or bookstore. Except here, when the gauzy curtains were pulled back, that meant the place was open for business and that whoever was featured, could have their time and services purchased. Many were women clad in what barely qualified as clothes, posing as to look most appealing. She noticed there seemed to be fewer men than women, but that seemed like something that occurred all the time when it came to this particular occupation. She quietly walked along the cobbled streets, taking in the sights as she passed. She tried not to stare, but she probably gave away the fact that she was not from here most obviously. 

She wondered what made these people choose this life, if they even enjoyed it or if it was simply a way to make ends meet. That’s how she viewed what she did, she didn’t enjoy it so much as tolerate the fact that she was good at it and it allowed her to live comfortably and without worrying about bills or food or shelter. Perhaps these people felt the same way about what they did everyday. 

As she made her way down the street, the hood of her sweatshirt protecting her from the rain, hands stuffed in her pockets, she wondered what it would be like to use one of these places. Could she even make herself do that? Could she even open the door to go in? She’d never even been in a strip club back in the States, so what would it be like to walk into a full on legal brothel? Was it the same sort of atmosphere? Or were things much different? She had to admit, she was curious. Perhaps part of the reason for that was the fact that the last time she slept with anyone, it’d been a hurried night in a hotel room with a colleague that was also assigned to the same defense contract in a dusty district in Fez. It hadn’t been anything remarkable or even anything particularly good, it had just been a combination of too much alcohol and too much time alone.

As she walked, she also noticed the brothels seemed to be presenting more and more desirable looking offerings, with nicer clothes and less visible blemishes and makeup the seemed to be perfect. She’d almost reached the end of the street when something caught her eye, something she certainly hadn’t been expecting. 

This window seemed to be even larger than the others, with nicer curtains framing it. But that wasn’t what she noticed. It was the man standing behind the glass. He was definitely different from the others and not just because he was definitely male. He was well groomed from head to toe, dressed in an expensive suit, the picture of perfection all the way down to his shoes. He didn’t have a hair out of place, which under the light of the window display, was slicked back and looked soft, the hair itself a deep auburn color. He had a beard that matched and dark brown eyes that caught her attention more than anything else. He was holding a glass, sipping from it occasionally. She swallowed thickly when his eyes landed on her. She wondered what he would think of her, considering at this point she probably looked cold and wet and generally unpleasant. But she oddly didn’t feel judged, mostly because his gaze was gone as soon as it had found her. He was gone then too and replaced with a woman, who was dressed much like the others she had seen. 

She bit her lip, hands squeezing in her pockets. He was just a man, just like any other man in the city or on the planet for that matter. But for whatever reason, she couldn’t seem to shake the idea of getting to experience what a brothel actually offered. There was nothing stopping her. She was practically the only one out here thanks to the rain. And deep down, she knew who she wanted, just from one single look. Which was a bit strange, considering she usually went for people with vaginas and she was pretty sure this person didn’t have one of those hiding beneath his fancy suit. But she couldn’t help it, not when this awful ache had started in the pit of her stomach, that gnawing hunger nearly every person knew, the one that meant that logic had flown the coop and all you could focus on was the baser instincts urging you into doing something that may or may not be out of character simply because it had been way too long since you’d been in someone’s bed. 

It only took a moment or two of debating before she had pushed herself into action and headed for the door.

Inside was even dimmer than the overcast sky outside and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. She was standing in some sort of reception area, which included several expensive looking leather couches that abutted up to a desk of some sort, behind which stood a blonde woman who looked either bored or stoned. But since they were in Amsterdam, she very well could’ve been both. The walls were a deep red color and the floor was wooden, creaking beneath her boots as she approached the desk. She noted that a long hallway was the only thing behind the desk. It appeared to contain doors on either side and had other sections that went off deeper into the building. It made her wonder just how many people worked here.

The woman greeted her in tired Dutch, informing her of the starting rate for their lowest level companion, which was about $90 an hour in American money, give or take the exchange rate for the Euro. She then asked if she was interested in that or if she wanted a more expensive choice. When Vox replied that she wanted someone else, the woman stooped to grab something stored beneath the desk. It turned out to be a leather bound binder, which the woman opened and set in front of her. Inside was a guide to every prostitute employed by the brothel, including impressive photos and several details about them written in Dutch, including their names (they sounded like real names unlike those of porn stars but Vox wasn’t sure if they were simply non-ridiculous pseudonyms), such things as the size of certain body parts, what sort of activities they specialized in and of course what their rate happened to be. As the book progressed, each potential companion became gradually more expensive. She quietly flipped through the pages, only vaguely taking note of who she saw. She knew who she wanted, she just had to find his listing. 

She finally found him at the very end.

The name listed was ‘Beaut’. He was by far the most expensive choice, at nearly $2,000 an hour. Supposedly he was willing to do most anything and was naturally submissive. It however, did not detail the size of his manhood, which she found both a little refreshing and surprising, considering how much he cost. Good thing money didn’t happen to be something she needed to worry about or she was sure she was about to go broke. In the end, if she had come in here without enough money, she felt deep down that she wanted this enough that she would’ve found a way to make it happen regardless. Which was kinda pathetic in the scheme of things, considering she didn’t even know this man.

Vox quickly brushed that aside though and informed the receptionist who she wanted, pointing to his picture to make it clear in case her Dutch wasn’t as good as it could’ve been. The woman raised an eyebrow and asked her to confirm this choice, making note of the expensive price. Vox was unable to contain her sigh. She shot the woman a bit of an annoyed look, not liking the implication that she was giving, that she walked in here looking like someone who couldn’t afford what they wanted. She quickly dug into her pocket and pulled out a credit card and handed it over. 

The woman seemed satisfied with this, swiping the card through the computer before handing it back. She then disappeared briefly, returning with a large man dressed in a black suit. She explained that this was their security guard and he kept an eye on things, meaning he needed to pat her down real quick to ensure everyone’s safety. The woman explained that not every brothel did this, but this place was different and the owners would not have anyone carrying weapons that could harm their employees. Vox didn’t object, waiting patiently while the man went over her with his hands. He wasn’t cheeky about it and didn’t make her uncomfortable, nor did he find anything (despite the fact that there was a blade in her boot but he didn’t need to know that), so she was allowed to follow the receptionist back into the hallway. 

They passed door after door, all with numbers on them labeled in gold lettering. It took a moment to reach the correct door and she noticed it was separated from the others, so she had a sense that it was bigger on the inside somehow. She also noticed that every door had a small light over it, which was either red or green. She took that as meaning red was occupied with a guest and green was free, as the door they had come to had a green light over it. 

The receptionist showed her a special key, one among many. She assured Vox that there were only two keys to each door, the one she had and one with the security guard. The door would lock once she was inside, but all she had to do to leave when she was ready was walk out, it opened from the inside. But she would have to check back at the desk before leaving just as a matter of security. She added that there also happened to be a panic button in the room itself, rather hard to miss on one of the walls. If something happened and help was needed right away, it could be pressed and the door would unlock from the outside along with notifying the security guard. This, she explained, was both for her and the employee’s safety and that was to be used only in emergencies. Vox took this to mean that trying anything that put anyone’s safety at risk was generally an unwise decision. 

Her stomach swooped as the woman inserted the key and unlocked the door. She then stepped back and gestured for Vox to enter, departing with a comment about enjoying her purchase. 

It took a minute before Vox got herself to move though. Her nerves clawed at her stomach and she hoped that for all that being out in the rain, she didn’t look like some sort of drowned rat that the cat dragged from the sewer. It also occurred to her that she was going into this situation completely clueless, which was not a familiar feeling for her and she didn’t like it one bit. But she had come here and she had willingly forked over a credit card to charge, so there was really no point in going back now.

So, she stepped forward and pushed the door further open, stepping inside and letting it close behind her.

The room itself was rather large like she’d guessed. It was tastefully decorated, with plush furniture and paintings and the floor under her feet felt like more expensive wood. She took stock of her surroundings, marking off what appeared to be a bathroom area, some sort of living area with a fully stocked bar and another room that she could only assumed contained a bed of some sort. At least, so she hoped. 

  
She was found to be correct as said door opened and she caught a glimpse of a huge canopy bed with expensive looking sheets, but that was not what she was paying attention to at all. She was paying attention to the fact that the man she’d seen in the window was coming out of said bedroom, looking like he’d just stepped from the window where she’d seen him, still the perfect image of luxury and beauty. 

He stopped when he saw her. Her anxiety ratched back up again as his eyes roved over every inch of her body and she was convinced that what he was seeing probably wasn’t going to be very appealing, especially to someone like him.

Finally, he spoke, his voice utterly calm and smooth in a way that really shouldn’t have surprised her. “You want something to drink?” It was said quickly in Dutch, but something struck her about the words, or more particularly, the accent. 

“Do you speak English?” She took a gamble and asked, figuring if he didn’t then she would just manage. 

Beaut’s shoulders relaxed a bit at that. “Yeah. I take it you’re a transplant too, an American.”

She shrugged, “I haven’t been stateside in years but yeah, I was born there.”

  
“Well isn’t life just funny like that? I haven’t been since I was a kid, but the accent has always stuck. Anyway, do you want a drink?”

Vox took a moment to respond, still a little shocked that this was actually happening. She did her best to not look like a gaping fool. “Uh...just a rum and coke if it’s not too much trouble.”

She even worried that her drink choice would seem weak and unfavorable in his eyes, though he didn’t seem to react one way or another, simply moving over to stand behind the bar. He retrieved two glasses and filled hers first before opening a fancy looking bottle of whiskey that she was sure cost as much as his hourly rate at least, pouring the amber liquid over a bit of ice before returning the top and picking up the glasses. She hesitantly met him in the middle of the room and took her glass, noticing that even a small brush of his hand against hers already had her skin tingling. She gratefully downed the alcohol, hoping the booze would take the edge off her nerves. 

She noticed then that he was watching her expectantly, having finished his own drink. She had no idea what to say so she averted her eyes and kept them on the floor, hoping he would make some sort of move that told her what to do. She looked up when she heard him set down his glass.

“It’s surprising that someone that’s as beautiful as you has never done this before.” He stated, taking her glass and setting it aside when she finished. 

  
“It’s that obvious, huh?”

“Yeah, a little. Most people that come here get straight down the business. You don’t know what you’re doing though, do you?”

  
Vox decided there was no point in lying and shook her head. “No, not really. I’ve never been in a place like this.”  _ But seeing you was enough to make me want to be here. Even just looking at you makes my stomach flip.  _

“Anything in particular bring you here? Usually most people have some sort of reason, be it good or bad.” He moved back to the bar and poured out two more drinks.

“Like cheating on a spouse or something?”

  
He shrugged, “Sometimes, yeah.”

  
“Well then, no. I uh, I was just walking by. I’ve never been in this part of the city before. To be honest, I’m not sure how I ended up here anyway. But uh, I was looking at all the windows, couldn’t really help myself, ya know? I mean, I’ve never even been in a strip club back home, so I guess I was curious. Then I uh, I saw you.” She shoved her hands in her pockets to keep them still. 

“Really? That’s all it took, just seeing me? That convinced you to spend a pretty penny to spend time with a prostitute?” 

“Yeah, when you say it like that, it sounds really fucking stupid.” She reached a hand up and nervously pushed her bangs to one side. 

“No no, I didn’t mean it like that. That’s actually kind of flattering, when you think about it. One look and you’re ready to jump in the deep end when you’ve never been in the kiddy pool. I have to respect the willingness to follow through.” He returned to her side and offered her the glass again which she was more than happy to take, downing it all in a few swallows. She was thrown off even more when he began to chuckle. 

  
“What? What did I do?”

He hummed and sipped his glass. “Nothing, it’s just..I don’t think I’ve seen anybody so nervous to be in here in a very long time. You look like a deer about to be hit by a speeding truck. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing. It certainly is refreshing.” 

“Is that why you’re talking to me? Because I look like I’m about to jump out of my skin?”

“More or less. This whole thing is absolutely no fun if you can’t relax and you are anything but relaxed, so going straight to the reason you’re here isn’t going to be a good idea. Plus, if you don’t mind, I’ve got all day and if you’re willing to eat up some time talking, it certainly doesn’t bother me. I get paid either way.”

“Right. Good thing I’ve got a job that pays a lot and too much credit to blow through to care about saving money.” She sighed before adding, “Can I ask you something? Promise you’ll be honest.”

  
He shrugged, finishing his drink, “Sure. Ask away.”

  
“Your name, is that actually your name or is that some sort of stage name, like a porn star?”

He smiled faintly at that, apparently never having been asked that. “No, it’s not my name. It’s close I suppose but no.”

“Do you mind if I ask you what your real name is?”

He pursed his lips and she couldn’t help noticing how pink and soft they looked. “Billy.” He finally said after a moment, “It’s Billy.”

“I like Beaut, if it matters.”

Billy raised an eyebrow, “Why is that?”

  
She shrugged, “It definitely suits you.”

He half chuckled at that, though the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” He was quiet for a moment before asking, “So what’s your name then?”

“Vox. And no, that is not a stage name, that is the legal name on my birth certificate.”

  
He didn’t make fun of her though, instead looking intrigued more than anything. “Does that mean something?”

  
“It’s Latin, the word for ‘voice’.” 

“It fits. You look like somebody that knows how to use their voice when it counts and that’s a compliment, I promise.” 

Vox managed a faint smile. “Well, at least you like something about me.”

  
Billy looked confused by that, “What do you mean by that?”

  
She bit her lip, her cheeks warming a little. She could bullshit him if she wanted, but she had a feeling that he would see right through it no matter how hard she tried. So, she told the truth.

“When I saw you, all I could worry about was if I came in here, what you’d think of my appearance. I know that in the end, that isn’t your job and it doesn’t really matter, but for whatever reason, being with somebody like you, that looks like you, that matters to me. I know you’re just doing this to get paid, but it still matters to me for some reason. All I could think when I was standing outside was that, ‘this guy is so out of my league it’s not even funny’. And I’ve been in the rain all morning, so I must look like hell. And it’s not like I’m great looking anyway, I don’t have any great assets of any sort and I’m pale as a goddamn ghost and I dress like a cross between a biker reject and the grim reaper’s child.” She looked away again. “I know that’s not how this works, I know your attraction or lack of to a client doesn’t even enter into things. But…” She shook her head, “I really want you to like me. I want you to be as attracted to me as I am to you.”

“And you think I’m not?”

  
“Oh, I know you’re not. Not when you dress like that and look the way you do and talk the way you do.” Vox pressed her lips together. “I’m beneath you. The only reason I would ever be here is because I can pay for it. If we were just two people out somewhere, you wouldn’t give me a second look.”

Billy was silent for a long few moments and internally she berated herself for ruining what had been a decent mood between them.

“You really don’t know how wrong you are.”

It was her turn to look confused. “But I’m not.”

“But you are. You wrote yourself off the moment you saw me. You haven’t given me a chance to show you otherwise. Just because this is my job doesn’t necessarily mean I can’t be attracted to whoever walks in here. I haven’t gotten to the point that I don’t pay attention to appearances anymore. I mean, yeah, there are some people who come that I know I would never normally go for, that sorta thing comes with the territory. But that doesn’t mean everyone is like that.”

“That doesn’t mean I necessarily fall into the ‘attraction’ category though.”

  
“But that also doesn’t mean you fall into the ‘not attracted’ category either.” Billy finished his drink and came closer, making her heart speed up. All she could breath in was his scent, clearly some sort of cologne. It wasn’t especially strong, but inviting nonetheless, clean and warm, making her ache even more than she already was. She didn’t know how she was going to keep her head enough to get through this, especially when he’d only barely touched her.

That soon changed as he stood in her space, a good few inches taller but she also didn’t feel like he was looking down at her. He seemed to be reading her body language, perhaps deciding how to do this without scaring her or making her uncomfortable. Eventually, he made a move, a simple hand against her cheek. Just this small move had a lump forming in her throat, her skin heating up underneath his touch. She didn’t pull away though, despite the fact that her nerves were ratcheting back up. His thumb brushed over her cheek bone and then carefully over her lips. Her breath came faster, her chest aching like someone had punched her. She had never had such a visceral reaction to anyone, not like this.

“Just because you’re not a blonde with big tits doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to you. If the situation were different, I’m sure I would not be overlooking you in any sort of way. You’re so quick to focus on what you perceive are faults, but that’s not what I see at all. I see alluring, vibrant eyes with hair that I’m sure I’m going to enjoy running my fingers through. Lips that are pink and definitely kissable and though the black clothes cover up a lot, I’m still interested in finding out what’s underneath because, from what I can tell, I sure won’t be disappointed.”

Vox swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, managing to murmur, “Does that mean I’m allowed to kiss you?”

“More than allowed, if that’s what you want.”

“Please?” She hated how desperate that sounded.

Billy smiled a bit, his thumb tracing around her lips. He went about his next move slowly, perhaps again judging her likeliness to back away. He leaned into her, so they were touching but not quite where it mattered. It struck her how intimate this was, like she was going to kiss a lover. It made her ache in a different sort of way, not out of lust, but out of the fact that she had rarely ever been touched by anyone like this. Which she again found pathetic, considering how old she was, that she only got this treatment when she was paying for it.

When he finally kissed her, it was like all the breath had been sucked from her lungs and she was suddenly suffocating. It was delightful in an almost awful sort of way, a feeling that radiated throughout her whole body, making certain parts of her body begin to throb. All of that feeling from one damn kiss. She had the distinct feeling that she was on the edge of falling down a very deep rabbit hole. 

Vox had no idea what to do with her hands, which had a faint tremble to them by now. She lifted them, where they hovered in the air for a moment, until she finally decided she needed to touch his hair and promptly tangled both hands in it. 

What had started slow and almost soft had deepened into something more, his hands drifting from her face down to her hips, carefully pulling her closer so there was little space between them. She tried to hold back a groan but failed, unable to keep from noticing how firm his body felt against hers. In her head, she imagined what it would feel like when there wasn’t fabric between them and this thought had her whimpering softly against his mouth. He pulled back then, lips moving to kiss along her jaw. “You really want this, nerves or not, don’t you?”

A soft gasp escaped her lips when he nipped her ear lobe. “I need it.” She admitted, tilting her head so he could kiss her neck. 

“How long has it been since you’ve been in this position?” He wondered, putting enough distance between them so that he could unzip her hoodie and help her out of it, setting it down on one of the couches. 

Vox couldn’t help feeling more exposed now, though she still had a long sleeved shirt underneath. “A long time.” She confessed. “Years, actually.”

  
Billy looked surprised at this. “Really? Someone as beautiful as you?”

She rubbed the back of her neck, which had grown warm. “I guess that’s another reason why I came here. I’m not someone who just wants to jump into bed with the first person they think is cute. Which is why it was so surprising when I saw you.”

“What do you mean?”

  
She began to walk the room a little, hoping it would keep her from fidgeting. “When I saw you, it was like a gut punch. But not like being punched with a fist, like being hit with the most awful, lust driven ache that you’ve ever felt, even though you’ve been lonely for a long time. Just utter want, with no real rhyme or reason. Logic sorta flew out the window. It was like dangling a bottle of pills in front of a drug addict. No matter what I knew I should think, all I could think was how bad I wanted it.” She moved toward the bedroom, unconsciously wrapping her arms around herself. 

“And I take it that the ‘it’ in this situation was me?” She heard him approaching from behind as she stepped into the plush bedroom. She found herself sitting down on the bed, looking at the floor. “Yeah.” She replied, feeling a bit like a creep for admitting all this.

“I didn’t know I could make someone feel like that. It sounds both really good and kind of awful.” He’d closed the bedroom door when he entered and she tried not to think about what that meant. 

“I didn’t know I could feel like that. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long, I don’t know.” She shook her head, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be saying all this. In the end, I came here for a reason and that’s all there is to it.”

“Then how about we try to forget about all that shit? You didn’t pass out or spontaneously combust when I touched you, so that’s good, right? And you liked it, right?”

  
She nodded, still pointedly looking at the floor, unable to make herself move any closer to him. Instead he moved closer, placing a hand on her thigh. She managed to stay composed. “What do you want me to do?” She asked, finally turning herself to glance at him.

“You’re the one that calls the shots here. What do you want?” 

This gave her pause. She hadn’t exactly come in here with a game plan, though she had a few things in mind. But she also wanted to take things slow, really enjoy this. So she decided to start small. She put her hand over the one on her leg, lifting it to rest on her shoulder. It was easy enough to turn to plant a knee on the bed before swinging herself into his lap. He did the rest, his hands finding her hips again and bringing her close as he had before. She swallowed, acutely aware of the fact that she was effectively sitting on his dick, though she couldn’t feel anything like that. She wondered what it would take to get him aroused and just what exactly that would feel like. Well, she  _ did  _ know, but the last time she’d been anywhere near someone when they had an erection had been during some shitty backroom fumbling at a high school party. That might as well have been another life. 

One of his hands left her hip to slip under her shirt and her skin warmed wherever he touched. They weren’t even kissing but the way he was looking at her made her feel out of breath, like he was enjoying every new touch and sensation, like exploring her was the thing he really wanted most in life right at the moment. There was a softness to his gaze too, one she wasn’t sure she entirely understood. 

“If I ask to see what’s underneath here, are you going to be okay with that?” He asked, only reaching so far before waiting for her permission to go further.

“Well this can’t exactly happen if I insist on keeping my clothes on, right? So uh, go ahead.” She held still and raised her arms so he could slip the shirt over her head. She found herself looking away again, not wanting to see his reaction, afraid it would be negative. Her skin was indeed pale and not without scars. Several burns littered up and down her sides, while there were several lines that seemed to be stab wounds of some sort. He noticed now that she had tattoos on the inner part of both arms as well as on the back of each hand. The ones on her hands he had taken notice of, but only momentarily. Now that he was closer, he saw that they were symbols. Maybe Egyptian? The ones on her arms though, he hadn’t seen until now. They seemed to be of some sort of purple and black star pattern, identical and reaching all the way to her inner elbow. There was also a wolf in black ink on her inner right forearm. The wolf was an outline, with arrows sticking out of it and the word ‘survivor’ taking up the space inside. But there was something else about the stars, or more precisely, the skin underneath. It was then that he realized that tattoos were covering a large collection of old scars on either arm. They weren’t noticeable until you really paid attention, but it was abundantly clear that these scars were different from the others. Billy felt his stomach twist when he realized that they were most likely self inflicted. 

“You don’t have to look at them if you don’t want to.” Vox’s voice came out quiet, “Please, just ignore them. Or push me away, if you want. You certainly wouldn’t be the first.”

He didn’t do any of those things. Instead, Billy reached to grasp her wrist, bringing her arm up so he could kiss against the scars. He then repeated the action with the other arm. He then placed both her hands against his chest. “Will you take this off, please?” He requested in the same sort of soft tone she had used. 

She licked her lips briefly before doing as she was asked, first slipping off his suit jacket and then going for the button up underneath. It wasn’t until she’d gotten a few buttons opened before she stopped, her hands frozen in place, trembling again just slightly.

His chest looked like her own, just a deeper tone. There were ugly, jagged scars and burns that had to have been painful and as she forced herself into continuing and taking the shirt all the way off, she noticed at least one scar that looked more like a bullet hole than anything else. Billy let the fabric come all the way off and tossed the expensive clothes onto a nearby chair. 

“You aren’t the only one who’s seen some shit.” His hands went back to roaming, only now when he touched each scar, he did it with a sort of gentleness, tracing their shape as if committing them to memory. “It doesn’t change the way I look at you. Does it change the way you look at me?”

She mimicked his motion, touching the scars on his chest like he was doing with her own. She realized that this was different than the body she’d pictured under his suit, but the idea of backing out or changing her mind never became an option. Because, even though his skin was marred, it didn’t bother her in the least, not when she looked much the same way. In fact, it was almost comforting, knowing that he wasn’t going to reject her for the imperfections she carried.

Vox shook her head then, eyes moving back up to meet his. She slipped her arms around his neck, leaning in close like he had earlier, nuzzling against his cheek. “It doesn’t. I still want you.” This time she kissed him, her nerves calming to the point that she felt brave enough to nip at his lips, noting that he tasted like whiskey and wasn’t hesitant about tasting the rum on her lips.

She shivered when his hands grabbed a handful of her chest and squeezed. He asked permission again, which she appreciated, before reaching behind to undo the clasp and letting her bra fall to the floor. She whined softly when she felt his hands against soft skin, thumbs brushing against sensitive areas. His mouth trailed from her lips across her jaw and down her neck, leaving several marks in his wake. She couldn’t help relishing that, glad that there would be evidence of this after she had gone. 

“Will you stand up so I can take off the rest?” He asked, to which she complied, getting to her feet so he could make quick work of her boots. His hands came to the waistband of her pants then, pausing once more to make sure she was still on board. She felt her anxiety rising again with each bit of skin that was exposed, but she also didn’t want to stop, scared or not, so she allowed him to continue. She couldn’t help wrapping her arms around herself again, feeling self conscious as he slipped the fabric down her thighs, though her legs were less scarred compared to the rest of her body. She stepped out of the pants then, sneaking a few glances at Billy before looking down at the floor. 

“You don’t need to feel ashamed of how you look, at least not with me.” Billy assured, those hands gliding down her hips before sliding down her backside, making her cheeks heat up. 

“I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me.” Vox responded, forcing her gaze back to him. 

“Then maybe I should be doing something that will make you forget about the way you feel about your appearance.” 

She hadn’t any idea what he had in mind and only became more confused when he slid to his knees in front of her, his head coming to just below her bellybutton. He kissed the skin that was closest, his hands sliding up to hold her hips again. It became apparent what he was going to do when his fingers slipped into the band of her underwear, pausing long enough that she could protest if she wanted. The only thing she could manage was a soft, “You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to. I’ve never been one of those guys to shy away or think I’m above doing this. I actually enjoy it, so don’t think I need you to stop me.” 

Part of her wanted to argue, to make him stop and keep the last bit of her covered and unavailable to judgement. But a bigger part of her ached to feel any part of him on her, to release some of the tension pooled in her gut. So she gave her consent, allowing him to remove the last bit of clothing on her body, leaving her standing with nothing to cloak and hide the features she was so ashamed of. She heard him exhale sharply and she hoped that was a good reaction and not a bad one, too nervous to look down and find out for herself.

The first flick of his tongue sent a jolt through her whole body, goosebumps rising on her arms and heat pooling in her belly. She had to bite down hard to keep from making any sound. The first time ended up just being a tease though, the second time pressed deeper, his lips wrapping around her folds, not only using his tongue but beginning to suck as well. 

Almost immediately her knees felt weak and all the breath was gone from her lungs. A shaky hand came to her lips and she bit down on a knuckle to muffle a moan. She soon realized he wasn’t about to go easy on her either, his hands reaching to spread her apart, pushing his tongue in deeper and deeper, stroking against every bit of her he could reach. Her toes curled and she made a choked off sound, hardly able to get a breath into her lungs before she needed to exhale again, her heart pounding in her chest. 

“You don’t have to be quiet,” He breathed, his breath against her wet skin making her shiver again. Billy licked his lips, his fingers gathering up some of her slick. “I want to hear you.”

Vox swallowed hard, her hands clenching and unclenching where they were wrapped close to her chest. Taking a breath, she forced one of her arms to relax and looked down at Billy, who was watching her with a slight concern in his eyes. She nodded, exhaling and allowing herself to run her fingers through his hair. She felt a twinge of arousal when she saw his lips, which were already reddened and wet in the dim light. He pressed a kiss to her core, nudging his nose against the patch of dark hair on her mound. “Good,” He was satisfied now that she didn’t seem to be trying to hold back, “because I want to hear you when I make you cum.”

The dirty talk was unexpected but not exactly unwelcome, she just didn’t know how to respond to it. She didn’t get a chance to, not when he was back on her within seconds, using what she was sure was quite a bit of practice to make it feel like her knees were definitely going to give out. Her whole body felt warm now, from her nose down to her toes. She did everything she could to hold still, though her thighs had begun to quiver faintly and every other breath came out a moan. She massaged her hand through his hair, which was exactly as soft as she had imagined it would be. She nearly cried out when he added two fingers to what he was doing, caressing places that she’d forgotten she had. 

It had been so long, so saying she was sensitive was an understatement. It took an immense amount of brainpower to be able to think clearly enough to not just let the pleasure overwhelm her and send her to her knees. But she needed this, more than she had needed anything in quite a while, and she was not about to do anything that would get him to stop doing what he was doing. Not when she felt like this, like every nerve in her body was alight and the sounds coming from her mouth were ones she barely recognized as her own. She soon found herself almost leaning over him, eyes squeezed shut, unable to do much else but hold on and hope the end was as good as the ride leading up to it.

She certainly wasn’t disappointed. When it hit her, it was unlike any other time she’d experienced this, few as they were. Her whole body shuddered and the sound she made was utterly obscene, something she didn’t think herself capable of producing. He didn’t stop either, not even as her body tensed around him and her lungs burned because she couldn’t get enough air in fast enough.

By the time she came back to herself, her legs had given out and she would’ve ended up on the floor if Billy hadn’t pulled back in time to keep her upright. Vox suddenly found herself pressed against his chest, still panting heavily. Her brain felt like it was about ready to float away. 

In the end, it was his soft touches and gentle voice that brought her back to the present, odd enough as that was.

“You okay?” He kept her steady, fingers stroking down her hip.

She inhaled as deeply as she could, nodding slowly. “Yeah. You just made my brain melt, that’s all.”

He found that amusing, laughing a little, his chest rumbling gently beneath her cheek. “Well, I do take pride in my work, what can I say?”

“Oh and you are very good at your work, I’m beginning to see that.” She commented, beginning to get the feeling back in her legs enough to support herself, though she made no move to extract herself from his grip. 

“I aim to please.” He reached to tilt her head up so he could kiss her, that warm ache in her chest returning as soon as their lips met. Vox whined softly, tasting herself on his skin. His hands touched everywhere, leaving trails of heat in their wake. He was already finding a way to excite her again simply by touching her. 

When they parted, again they stayed close, Billy’s lips lazily kissing along her cheek. “What now, sweetheart? I’m sure there’s something you want to do.”

She let her eyes close briefly, an idea that had slowly begun to form coming back to the front of her mind. This idea was actually a fantasy she had had for a long time but only recently rediscovered. After such a long time without being with anyone, she had shelved most of the desires she had, but after some thought and thanks to Billy’s skills, many had come flooding back in the short time she’d been here.

“There is.” Vox admitted, her eyes opening. “I’m just not sure you’re going to be into it. And I don’t want to do it if you’re not on board.”

  
“You’re in charge here, remember? How I feel about what we do really doesn’t enter into this.”

  
She chewed her lip, “I can’t do this if you don’t like it. I don’t care if it’s your job to do what I want and how I want it, I can’t enjoy it if you don’t. And I’m not even sure if you have what we’d need to do it.”

  
Billy seemed to be momentarily caught off guard, unsure of how to respond. He’d never had a client that cared much about what he was feeling in all of this. Usually most people were satisfied if they heard him moan, even if the moans were fake, because they couldn’t tell the difference. Finally he asked, “What did you have in mind?”

  
She swallowed, feeling nervous once again. She put some distance between them and it occurred to him that not only did she look nervous, she looked ashamed once again.

“Whatever it is,” He assured, “you don’t have to feel bad about it. Nothing that happens here should be something you feel guilty about. This is about indulging and feeling good, not making yourself feel bad. I think there’s very few things that you could suggest that deserve feeling bad about.” He didn’t like that she held so many things against herself. She had gone back to her previous position of wrapping her arms around her middle, like she had remembered that all of her skin was exposed. 

It took a long moment for her to gather herself enough to begin to explain. When she did, her voice had gone soft and unsure, “I don’t want to just lay out missionary and let you do what you’re supposed to do. Doing that has never been what I’ve wanted. It’s rarely ever been good, actually. And every time I’ve ever suggested something else, I get a range of reactions, from mild confusion to disgust to anger and rejection. It’s made doing it..the way everybody expects you to rather unappealing and unattractive. That’s not because of you either, this is all me.”

Billy listened quietly, letting her take her time before saying, “Okay, so you don’t want what most people in your position usually want. That’s fine. I have plenty who want to try something new, a fantasy they’ve been thinking about. Is that what you want to do? Fulfill a fantasy?”

She tapped her fingers nervously against her elbow, “I suppose you could describe it like that.”

“Then I will do my best to make it happen. You just have to tell me what you want.” He approached her again, hoping the more he did, the less nervous and anxious she would be. She didn’t back away this time, allowing him to slip an arm around her once more. Still, she found it difficult to meet his eyes as she continued, “I want to be on top.” She revealed, “I don’t want to be underneath or taking. I-I don’t want to be fucked, I want to do the fucking.” Her stomach twisted and her cheeks burned the worst they had since she’d gotten here and she couldn’t help feeling like what she was asking for was wrong. 

Billy picked up on that easily, “And you think there’s something wrong with wanting that?”

“Well, it certainly isn’t normal.” 

“Normal is relative. What’s normal to one is different to another. You are not the first person to want to do that, I’m sure there’s plenty of people out there who enjoy doing it.” His fingers caressed over her spine. 

“That doesn’t mean you like the idea like I do. Most guys probably don’t.”

“I’m not most guys though.” He dipped his head down to kiss her neck again so he could murmur lowly, “I’d love to bend over for you, sweetheart. I am supposed to do whatever you want, but I assure you, this is something I know I’m going to enjoy.”

Vox felt her knees get weak again just at his choice of words. He sure knew how to talk someone into bed, that was for sure. “Do you even have anything that would make that possible?” She wondered, having not noticed anything of the sort in any of the rooms. 

“Don’t worry about that, we have plenty of options.” He lifted his head up so he could kiss her before taking her hand and leading across the room. It was then that she noticed there seemed to be a door in the wall she hadn’t been aware of before, mostly because it was the same color as the rest of the wall and looked to be made to be inconspicuous. Billy opened the door easily, sliding it back to reveal a room hidden behind it. Billy stepped inside first and she followed. It took her a second to realize what she was seeing but suddenly it all made sense. 

“Ah, so this is where you keep all the goodies.”

Billy chuckled, “Yeah. We’ve got anything you could want, from the mild to the outright kinky.” 

“I see that.” She was quiet as she surveyed the room, taking in all the toys and objects, some of which she’d never seen or knew what their purpose was. She wasn’t sure she entirely wanted to know either. 

“You can pick out whatever you want. There’s very few things I haven’t used at some point or another.” 

Vox nodded slowly, her eyes carefully scanning over everything before zeroing in on what she wanted. There were a few different choices, straps or no straps, length and color and thickness and it was honestly a little overwhelming. She’d never done this before, how was she supposed to know what would work best? 

“Maybe you should choose.” She suggested, looking up at him for guidance.

“Are you sure? This is your idea after all.” 

“I’ve also never done this. I don’t want to pick something you aren’t comfortable with. It’s okay, I promise. I want whatever is going to make you feel good.”

  
Billy again seemed to not know how to respond to that, having never encountered anyone who was interested in his enjoyment as much as she was. Nonetheless, he decided he would do as she asked, because in the end this was what she wanted. He debated for a moment or two between the choices, before going with something simple, one that looked to be about her size with an attachment that looked appealing enough to want to try. 

She swallowed when he handed it over. She’d never worn one of these, never been on the receiving end either. Every vagina owner she’d been with had been happy enough without trying out this particular toy. Still, just holding it in her hand made her ache, heat already beginning to pool back in the pit of her stomach. She turned back to him, leaning up to steal another kiss, her free hand boldly massaging between his legs, “I can’t wait to see your face when you moan for me. I bet you look even prettier than you do right now.”

His response to this at first had been good, a small smile tugging at his lips. But it had disappeared when she’d used a form of the word ‘pretty’. She wondered why that was. He didn’t explain anything either, simply acted as though it hadn’t happened and replaced the smile that had faded. She made a mental note to not use that word, no matter what his reason was for disliking it. To make up for it, she reached around to grab a handful of his backside, which seemed to surprise him. “I think you’re wearing a little too much though, don’t you agree?”

This got a bit of a spark to light up in his eyes. “Definitely. We should do something about that.” He took her hand and led her out of the room, sliding the door closed behind them. When they kissed again, she seemed to be more confident, taking charge this time instead of the other way around. She was feeling a little more at ease, now that she knew he was okay with what she wanted. Before they got to that though, she wanted to see if the profile she’d read on him had been accurate. 

“Why don’t you go lay down on the bed for me? Make yourself comfortable.”

Billy seemed only too happy to oblige this request, pulling away from her to make his way to the bed, laying out on top of the sheets, his head resting against the pillows. He looked like the picture of sex, his skin flushed and hair mussed, lips swollen from kissing. All that and he wasn’t even naked yet. She decided to change that. 

She set the toy aside for the moment, crawling onto the bed, taking her time as she began to strip off the rest of what he was wearing. He seemed content to let her do as she wished, which she hoped was because he wanted this as he had said, more so than the fact that this was a job to be done. 

She bit her lip as she slid off his pants, taking in strong thighs that held her attention more than they should’ve, even if they were a little scarred like the rest of him. She ran her hands over them before moving further up, brushing against the thin fabric of his boxers, unable to deny the swell of pride in her chest thanks to the fact that he had gone from flaccid to hard in a short period of time and she had to have had at least something to do with it. She spent a minute or two simply massaging against that bulge, teasing a little. He didn’t mind very much it seemed, humming softly in approval. 

When his last bit of clothing came off, it was enough to make her forget how to breathe for a few seconds. He wasn’t enormous like most guys seemed to like to brag about, but he certainly wasn’t small either. 

_ Satisfying. That’s the word.  _

Yes, if she had to give it a word, that’s the one she’d use. His size would be more than satisfying to any partner. Both cut and slightly curved, she also noticed that he was rather well groomed, which she never found to be a bad thing. When she took hold of him, his skin was hot under her touch, practically throbbing, precum beading at the tip. She couldn’t resist leaning it for a taste, more curious than anything else. 

When she did, he let out a soft gasp. “You don’t have to, this is about you, not me.”

“I want to.” She replied simply, licking her lips. “I want to hear what you sound like and know what you look like and how you taste. I’m not saying I’m going to be great at this, but I want to.”

He didn’t protest anymore after that, especially when she slipped the head past her lips, using her tongue to stroke over the slit and under the crown. His eyes slipped closed and she soon found their positions from earlier had reversed, with him being the one to have a hand tangled in her hair. 

She had never done this but she understood enough apparently, if the sounds she was eliciting were any indication. Soft moans and deep groans echoed through the quiet room and she enjoyed watching the way his expression changed with each moment that passed. He didn’t taste so bad either, a little bitter but not what she would call bad. It was worth it anyway, to see him like this. She’d had few people enjoy being with her and she wasn’t about to take it for granted, prostitute or not. 

She took as much as she could, listening to his noises grow louder and more frequent. She was pretty sure there was a wet spot on the bedspread where she’d settled against it, unable to help the way his pleasure turned her on. 

She couldn’t remember a time where she hadn’t needed that, had wanted her partner to be aroused in order for her to feel the same way. It had been like that ever since she’d had her first encounter. Nothing got her going quite like seeing someone she desired be lost in their own ecstasy. When she could provide that, it made her feel good like nothing else did. And she was just getting started with Billy. 

She pulled back to give herself a moment to breathe, but kept her hands busy, one hand stroking along the shaft, the other moving a bit further south. When she began to rub against his perineum, it caused a bit of a reaction, but when she touched against his entrance, it was enough to make him moan. She couldn’t suppress her smile. “Fuck, you’re so sensitive and I’m barely touching you. What if it was my fingers inside you instead? Or my tongue? I can do that. But I think you’re thinking past that, aren’t you? I bet you’re trying to imagine what it’s gonna feel like when I finally get the chance to spread these beautiful thighs and fuck you properly. Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m gonna take good care of you.” 

Billy whined in response. “And here I thought you didn’t know how to talk like that.”

Vox bit back a grin. “I’m full of surprises.”

She moved to grab a pillow and lifted his hips to slide it underneath. She made herself comfortable again, stroking his thighs and peppering them with kisses. She knew this was not something most people in her position would want to do. But for some reason, she had always wanted to try. Maybe she and Billy were the same that way, not at all shy about this aspect and even enjoying it more than others. She kissed around his cock, before giving his member itself some attention and she knew he was getting a little anxious as he kept fidgeting, shifting his weight back and forth. It was kind of cute, that anticipation could get to him too. 

When her mouth finally found it’s target, the sound he made was filthy, his head falling back against the pillows. She didn’t hold back either, much like he hadn’t. She tasted him for everything that he was and savored every moan and groan and whimper that came from him.

She shifted her weight a few times, shivering when the bedspread slid across her sensitive skin. She noticed with satisfaction that she wasn’t the only one who was wet, Billy’s cock dribbling against his belly. She admired his restraint, sure that he wanted nothing more than touch his aching dick and relieve himself of the pressure building within. His hand was back in her hair in no time, stroking and tugging, leaning into each swipe of her tongue. She only pulled back when her jaw began to ache, her lips shiny and wet. 

“You got any lube around here?” She wondered, pressing a kiss to his thigh. 

It took a minute for him to respond but he eventually nodded, shifting to dig around in the nightstand by the bed, producing a small bottle and offering it to her. She took it, coating her fingers as well as his skin too, not wanting to hurt him at all, though she was probably being overly cautious for someone who probably did this on a regular basis.

His breath caught when she pressed the first digit inside, his eyes closing again. “You made it sound like you’ve never done this before.” He pointed out.

“I haven’t. Doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it and I can’t go along with a fantasy, even if it’s in my own head for my own enjoyment, if I don’t include all the details.”

The second finger was easily fit in beside the first, only this time, Billy reacted more, his toes curling as he moaned. He moved with her as she began to thrust them in and out, not even seeming to have to put much thought into it. She soon added a third, unable to help noticing the way his body responded, taking whatever she gave him with ease. It was probably one of the most obscene things she’d ever seen and it turned her on like nothing else, probably because the more he took, the louder he got and every sound was everything she could’ve wanted. 

“That’s enough, unless you want this to be over early.” He jolted her back to the present and she took his advice, removing her fingers. She sat back on her knees, taking a moment to look him over. He wasn’t paying much attention, his chest rising rather rapidly and the flush on his cheeks had spread from his face all the way down his neck and across his chest. He looked utterly debauched and she hadn’t even had the chance to get to the best part yet. She hesitated a moment before crawling her way up to kiss him, craving the intimacy he seemed to bring to every touch. It was stupid, really, wanting that when he was no more a lover than a stranger off the street would be, but she wanted the feeling, or at least, the imitation of it, nonetheless.

Billy, for his part, kissed back as though she was indeed his lover and this was something special they were doing. It made her ache in a way she couldn’t quite describe. 

“Are you sure you’re still okay with this?” She asked, her hand trailing down his arm. 

His eyes had opened and she noticed they’d grown even darker, from a deep brown to almost black. “I want to do this. You have my consent to do this.” He tipped his head to kiss along her jaw, clearly trying to get her to relax and stop worrying about this so much. 

It seemed to work. She kissed him once more, deep and very nearly possessive, before she slid off him in order to done the harness and it’s phallic attachment. He watched with lidded eyes, one hand almost lazily touching his erection, as if knowing what they were going to do was enough to keep him aroused. 

She was pleased to find the piece fit well and after a moment of testing, she was comfortable enough to climb back between his legs. She made sure to use more lube, coating both the toy and his skin once again, figuring an abundance wouldn’t do any harm. She swallowed, her heart suddenly beating faster as she lined herself up. He helped her with this, shifting his position until they found one that seemed like it would work well.

“Is this how you want to be? You can roll over, if you want.”

Billy’s exhaled sharply as the blunt head pressed against him, just barely pushing inside. “How do you want me? That’s how I want to be.” His eyes darted up to meet hers and she was quiet as she thought about it. 

“I want to see your face.” She finally admitted, her hands stroking down his legs. “I want to be able to kiss you. I want to know what you look like when something feels good, and I really want to know what you look like when it overwhelms you and you make a mess all over yourself. I want to see all of it.” She had to look away, not wanting to seem overly invested or too emotional. This was always going to be a transaction, even if it didn’t seem that way. 

If she expected him to scold her or react badly, he didn’t. Billy simply wrapped his legs around her, pulling her closer. “Then I would say I’m in the right position then. Go on,” He breathed out, “you don’t have to be shy about it. I know you want to, so take what you want and fuck me.”

The bluntness of his words spurred her into motion. She used her hand to guide the toy and pressed forward, firmly but not rough, continuing until their hips were flush against each other and the toy was buried deep.

Billy let out a choked off sound, like he’d tried to moan but couldn’t get enough air in his lungs. She watched as his body reacted, muscles clenching again and again and this certainly wasn’t the first time she wished she was in possession of a dick. 

He seemed intent on getting her as deep as he could get, hooking his legs together so as to get her as close as she could possibly be. She took note of the way his cock twitched as he did this. “Christ, it’s been way too fucking long since I’ve had somebody treat me this nice.” He shifted like he couldn’t decide what he should do, lift up or push down harder. 

She made the decision for him, grabbing hold of both his hands and entwining so she could pin them above his head. It had her leaning over him which was fine by her, happy enough to steal kisses and watch the pleasure play across his features as she began to move, slowly at first before becoming more sure of herself and putting her weight behind her thrusts. She kissed his lips and over his cheekbones and everywhere she could reach. When his head drifted to one side, she kissed and nipped at his neck. 

“You are such a good boy.” She purred, sucking a bruise on the side of his throat. “You lay back and spread your legs and you’re so fucking eager. You want it so bad, your own body swallows it up like you were made for it, cock weeping because you’re filled up so full. You look fucking perfect too, like there’s nowhere you’d rather be. Don’t worry sweetheart, if you like it so much, I’d be happy to spend the money to bend your cute ass over anytime if it means I get to hear you scream when you cum. Oh, how’d happy I’d be to spend the rest of my days inside you.”

When her lips found his, this time there was no denying the possessiveness in it.

Billy seemed to enjoy the attention, as much as he could anyway when his brain power was being focused elsewhere. He kissed her back with just as much vigor and soon moved in sync with her, meeting every her thrust she gave him. The sounds that filled the room almost made it better. The sound of skin on skin, Billy’s moans and heavy pants, the bed shifting beneath them. The slick sound though, almost not noticeable unless you paid attention, Vox liked that one best. It was wet and slick and dirty in ways she’d never imagined. She nearly lost her rhythm when Billy turned his head, resting against hers and moaned brokenly, “Fuck me harder, make me cum on your dick,” He sounded wrecked, eyes half lidded, the last word ending in a whimper. 

Needless to say, she was more than happy to oblige, responding, “I’ve got you, sweetheart.” She made sure to put as much weight behind each thrust as she could from then on, pushing herself to move faster. 

She couldn’t explain how much she enjoyed this, enjoyed the way he gripped her hands hard, squeezing every time a shock went through him. She enjoyed the minute changes in his expression, the breathless words and noises of ecstasy he kept uttering, the way he kissed back as much as he could even though concentrating had to be difficult. She loved all of it. She loved that she’d turned this calm, sophisticated, beautiful man into a moaning mess begging for more, asking so sweetly to be fucked without a hint of shame. She couldn’t have come up with a better fantasy if she’d had years to spend on the topic. It had every bit of arousal inside her pooling low, her own body reacting to everything he did. She felt she might even be able to get off from this, just from watching him, just from getting to fuck him. 

She knew enough to keep changing her movements just a little, a chill running down her spine when he cried out loudly, eyes squeezed shut as she hit a particular place. She felt his cock give an extra spurt of precum, his legs tightening around her. She kissed him, tugging at his bottom lip with her teeth. “You want it right there, don’t you sweetheart?”

She got a moan in return, which only grew louder when Billy pressed himself back down against her. “Yes, yes, fuck.” She had stopped all together and he did what he could to chase the feeling he craved. “Please, right there. Fucking hold me down and make me cum on your fat fucking dick.”

This earned him a pleased smile and another kiss. “Your mouth is as fucking filthy as you look.”

She obliged him though, throwing her weight into thrusting in that same area, reducing Billy to a point where words were beyond his capacity. Instead he met every thrust, making his pleasure known in every noise he made, without any shame to hold him back. 

She could tell he was close, every thrust pushing him closer and closer to the edge. She wanted it as much as he did, needing this. She was sure there were clients who wouldn’t care at all if he got off or not, but she wanted that more than anything, so she pushed herself to get him there. She kissed him again and again, releasing one of his hands only she could reach between them and stroke his dick, her fingers soon covered with slick. 

It only took a few strokes before his back arched and he broke from kissing her so he could moan followed by a string of curses. He spilled in her hand and all over his belly, seemingly unable to decide between pushing down against the toy or bucking up into her fist. She took note of every beautiful moment of pleasure on his face, his swollen pink lips parted as he finished, panting heavily as he tried to get air into his lungs. She slowed only when she’d milked the last drop from him, placing another kiss to his mouth, this one softer, sweeter, like a thank you. 

“Such a perfect good boy, you did so good.” She hummed, letting go of his hand with the one of hers that was clean and stroking down his side. She gave him one last kiss before slowly removing herself, coaxing his legs to relax first before sitting up and pulling herself out. She couldn’t help the way she touched him as she went, hoping she was able telegraph all the praise that he deserved. 

When she’d removed the toy and set it aside and cleaned them both up a little, she allowed herself to collapse down on the bed beside him. She swallowed, wanting to move in close to him, craving that intimacy he seemed to offer without complaint but didn’t know if that was allowed, so she stayed still, focusing on slowing her breathing instead. 

It was a minute or two before his eyes opened and when he did, he turned his head, immediately finding her. He rolled onto his side so he could face her. 

“You didn’t get off, did you?”

She opened her eyes and glanced at him. “I did earlier and anyway, that wasn’t the point.”

“Maybe so, but you can’t tell me you didn’t get turned on by all that. You wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t. Let me help you.”

“You really don’t have to do that, I’m fine, really.”

Billy moved closer, his fingers tracing just below her bellybutton, leaving a trail of goosebumps. “Please?” He was soon pressed against her side, kissing along her jaw and down her neck. She whined softly when his fingers dipped lower, not allowing her to deny how she felt any longer.

“Please, I want to and you’re so wet, sweetheart. I can’t leave you like this.”

Damn him for being so charming and convincing. 

“Okay,” She relented, her voice coming out softer than she intended. It was one thing when she was giving out, allowing her to get into that headspace of being in control. But when it was him giving out to her, she felt remarkably different, much more embarrassed and shy. She found it easier to be vocal and less nervous when she was the one doing the deed, but when it was him pleasuring her, she didn’t know what changed besides their roles but it made her react differently. Now her stomach twisted and she found herself much more nervous than she had been a moment ago. 

Of course, he spotted this a mile away, having picked up quickly on how to tell if the nerves were getting to her. He kissed her, a hand on her hip pulling her close. “You’re allowed to let yourself indulge. You’re allowed to let yourself feel good and not just by proxy.”

  
“Not a lot of people have been interested in making me feel good.” Vox admitted, not meaning to be so candid, but she seemed unable to lie to him. She found she really didn’t want to either. She lied to so many people about so many things everyday of her life. She didn’t have to lie here if she didn’t want to. 

“Well you deserve better. Hopefully, I can make up for that just a little bit.” 

She barely had time to think before he was moving, pushing her legs apart. She trusted him enough to let him do as he pleased, knowing that she was far more likely to enjoy it than to not. Still, it made her heart beat fast and she worried her lip between her teeth. But as soon as he touched her, those long, skilled fingers seemed to know exactly what to do. She gasped, much louder than she had meant to, her head falling back against the pillows. She groaned when those digits easily slid inside, filling her up in a way she hadn’t thought of as a good thing, but he certainly made it one. Her eyes squeezed shut and she tried to keep herself quiet, embarrassed that she was reacting so strongly to something so simple. She hadn’t expected him to do much else either, but she felt the bed shift and his warmth was soon pressed against her side, his lips on her face even as his fingers worked, stroking her in the best ways. She whined when his thumb touched where the rest of his fingers were not, rubbing against her most sensitive part, causing her hips to jump without her permission. 

  
“It’s okay to focus on your own body once in a while.” He murmured in her ear, thumb rubbing in circles as the rest of his fingers twisted and turned, creating an intense feeling. She could barely breathe, every nerve in her body on edge. She turned her head, finding his mouth, kissing him hard, muffling the whine that threatened to escape her throat. This only made him speed up, the sound that it caused wet and dirty, her arousal something she couldn’t deny. One of her hands gripped the sheets tightly, but the other grabbed hold of him, using him as an anchor, as though she might float away from the intensity at any moment. He pulled back to nuzzle along her jaw, peppering her skin with kisses. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Don’t try to fight it. I know you were so close already.” 

She whimpered in response, holding onto him as tight as she could as she ground against his fingers. She hadn’t thought she’d like being in this position and it still made her feel small in a way she didn't like, but he made it better, he made her almost forget that completely. When she managed to find her voice, it was soft and shook faintly and she couldn’t make herself open her eyes to look at him. “I-I’m..You’re gonna make me cum..” Her cheeks burned and she wasn’t even sure why she’d blurted it out. 

He however, did not seem to mind. 

“I know sweetheart and I want you to. You’re not the only one who gets off on seeing that sort of thing.” He kissed her again and she noted his kisses had become as possessive as hers. 

One last finger, filling her up just the right away, making the feeling too good for her to stand had her shouting, her head falling back as her hips arched up, still riding his hand even as she ran out of breath and her whole body tensed. He didn’t stop either, not until she had settled back down and the cries from her mouth became pained from the over-stimulation. Only then did he release her, but not before making sure she caught a glimpse of him cleaning the slick from his fingers as though it were sugary sweet.

It took a long moment before she came fully back to herself, enough that she realized he was still in bed with her. 

“I suppose this is the part where I’m told I’ve gotta leave, right?” She asked, though she made no move to get up. She didn’t want to, not yet. She wanted to savor this experience just a little longer. 

He surprised her with his response. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Of course, there’s a max amount of time for every guest, but if you want to stay longer, then that’s your choice, you are paying. Just like I don’t mind taking up time talking. Some people come here, that’s all they want to do. I don’t care, the bosses don’t care, as long as you’re paying all the same. So if you wanna stick around, go right ahead.” He seemed to be in no hurry to move either, having laid back down next to her. 

“I know it’s stupid to want to stay.” She admitted. “But I’ve never been one who was just able to get up and walk out, no matter if the other person is awake or asleep. It’s just not in me. I hate leaving things like that.” She sighed heavily. “I’m too fucking sentimental to be doing stuff like this. You don’t sleep with a prostitute to cuddle.”

“No, most people don’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t. Vox, I’ve encountered people who want the mundane, who want to fuck nice and quick and be done with it, but not everybody is like that. And I’ve had just as many who want things differently as who want things the way you’d expect. As long as I don’t feel unsafe, I’m usually fine with anything. So if you want something, make that clear. You’re in charge, remember?”

She thought about that, still unsure of herself. But he was right, wasn’t he? She knew he was, deep down, no matter if she wanted to admit it or not. So why bother worrying about it?

Taking a deep breath, she rolled over, so she was pressed against his side where he was laying on his back. He understood what she wanted almost instantly, slipping his arm around her and pulling her closer. His other arm soon wrapped around her too, his fingertips tracing down over her shoulder. Before she could stop herself, she lowered her head, letting it rest against his chest, where she could hear his steady breathing and the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat. It soothed her in a way she could not describe and she was grateful that he didn’t find this odd in any sort of way. “It’s alright to be a little different than everyone else.” The words were said sincerely. 

She closed her eyes, because deep inside, buried in her very core, she ached with a fierceness that couldn’t be put into words. 

When she opened her eyes again, she realized she must’ve dozed off. She carefully lifted her head and found he seemed to be asleep too, though when she moved, his eyes opened. She quietly removed herself from him and sat up, going to retrieve her clothes so she could get dressed. He didn’t bother putting his suit back on, instead wrapping himself up in a robe that was draped near the bed.

She walked back out into the other room and retrieved her sweater and slipped it back on. She vaguely wondered if it was still raining outside and what time it was. 

Vox had expected to say goodbye and then simply walk out, but she found that she couldn’t make it short and sweet. Instead, she turned and waited for him to come to her.

“I hope you were satisfied.” He offered, the corner of his mouth turning up just a bit.

She found herself smiling back. “More than satisfied. I wanna say you fucked my brains out, but it was more the other way around, wasn’t it?”

  
He chuckled softly. “Yeah, I think that’s more accurate.”

  
She bit her lip, shoving her hands in her pockets. “I’m allowed to come back, right?”

Billy’s smile got a little bigger. “So it was  _ that  _ good, huh?”

She laughed this time. “What can I say? You’re good at what you do.”

  
“Well, the answer is yes, you are more than welcome to come back whenever you like. You can always pick someone else, if you want. But as long as you want me and I’m free, I’m all yours.”

She couldn’t help the conflicted feelings that gave her. She liked the idea of trying other people in theory, but she didn’t know if she could actually go through with it. What was the point of trying something else when you already had the best?

She opened her mouth to say goodbye but what came instead was, “Can I kiss you?”

  
Surprise came across his face but disappeared as soon as she recognized it. “If that’s what you want, I think that would be okay.”

She nodded, swallowing hard and found she had a lump in her throat that she didn’t know had formed. Nonetheless, she stepped back into his space and pulled him close. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, like she was going off for a very long time and didn’t know when she would be back. Like they were two lovers saying goodbye. She was quietly pleased when he kissed back in much the same way. 

When she pulled back, she planted one last small kiss to his lips before letting go. “You’ll see me again.” She promised softly.

But when she finally opened the door and left the room, something told her she wouldn’t be back near as soon as she would’ve liked.   
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vox leaves on a job and when she returns, she only has one thing in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I first wanna say thank you to anybody who has read, commented, or given kudos. I didn't expect any sort of response to this story considering how niche it is, and I'm grateful for every little bit of love. Secondly, to the person who sent me a message on Tumblr, asking about this story and saying how much they liked my work, you are a big reason I sat down and finished this chapter, so thank you. I have literally never had someone ask about my writing outside of ao3 before, so I cannot express how much that meant to me. Here's to hoping everybody interested in this story likes what's to come and that I can write exactly what I've been imagining.

It was late when she left the brothel, but the rain had abated for the moment. The walk back to her home wasn’t very long but even so, she found herself feeling cold despite the relatively comfortable weather. 

As she walked, she replayed what had just taken place again and again and she swore she could still feel the ghost of his touch on her skin. She relished it while she could, knowing sleeping in her bed alone tonight was not going to be very enjoyable. 

Her house sat on the edge of one of the canals, a pleasant blue color with white flower boxes and shutters and had its own boat dock. It was her heart, the place where she felt safest and most at ease. She had never had a place like that in her life before she moved here. 

Once inside, Vox quietly removed her sweater and hung it up. Old wood floors creaked beneath her feet as she stepped out of her boots and padded into the kitchen, opening a cupboard to retrieve a mug before moving to grab the old teapot and fill it with water underneath the faucet. She set the filled pot onto one of the stove’s burners and lit it, getting out a packet of tea while she waited for it to heat. When the pot began to sing, she carefully removed it and poured some of the water into the mug before dunking the tea bag to let it steep. She hoped the tea would allow her to sleep and that her mind wouldn’t keep her up until morning. She needed to sleep, especially if a new contract came through anytime soon, which she was almost sure would happen. 

Her services were rather in demand and it had been a good week since her last assignment, a contract from the Ukrainian government to retrieve a valuable asset from over the Russian border after she’d been abducted near Crimea. She disliked anything too involved in the political climate but that’s where a lot of the work came from. The asset had been a rather gruff woman who the Russians had been holding in a dank warehouse in a shitty part of Leningrad. Vox had no idea what was so valuable about her, but her contact was very pleased when she dropped the woman off with him. She had spoken Russian and little else (Vox’s skill with the Russian language was rudimentary at best, complicating things further) so she had said very little that Vox actually understood. In fact, by the time she was on a train back to Amsterdam, she realized that she had never even found out the woman’s name.

The tea did help, making her muscles relax and allowing her mind to slow down. As she stripped down and prepared for bed, she couldn’t help but think of Billy again. What would he think if he knew what she did for a living, how she lived her life? If he knew her past, would he still find her desirable? She shook her head, refusing to think about that. If she fell down that rabbit hole now, she would never find any rest. 

As she laid her head down, she glanced over at the bedside table and in the dim moonlight, caught sight of the one photo she’d allowed herself to keep and display. It was from a night where they’d stayed in, for once not having anywhere to be or any objectives to fulfill. She remembered laying in bed with her, just content to hold her and watch whatever garbage was playing on the shitty motel room tv. She’d smelled like strawberry and that ever prevalent undertone of gun metal. She was a sniper, probably the best in their line of work, she’d been the top of her class in the army. Her hands were made to kill with hairpin precision, but when they touched her, they were nothing but gentle and caring. The photo was of the two of them like that, snuggled together on the hard motel mattress. Their expressions were soft, relaxed. Happy.

It was the last time they’d ever get the chance to spend a night like that.

Two weeks later, Amy would be dead, coldly cut down by the people that were supposed to be her friends, that were supposed to have her back. Vox would be left alive, but with a bullet that nearly shattered her hip and took away her ability to walk for nearly a year, and a wound in her heart that would still bleed long after she was back on her feet. 

She was supposed to die that day. Even now, she didn’t understand why it had been her that they had decided to leave, thinking she’d bleed to death, never guessing that she’d drag herself far enough that some poor soul would find her and take pity. But, here she was. Legally dead, but with a heart that stubbornly refused to stop beating. 

Her team, the ones who had turned on them and executed the only person she’d ever loved, they’d disappeared. She knew they were out there, somewhere, even caught bits of them here and there. A brief image on a security camera, a contact that swore they’d been in touch, but nothing more than that, nothing more than brief leads that ultimately went nowhere. In the end, Vox had stopped putting so much effort into looking, instead using her pain to fight to become healthy again and put her skills to good use, to make some semblance of a life. That’s how she’d found herself here in Amsterdam, living a quiet life apart from her work, which paid for her home and anything else she might’ve needed. 

Not a day went by that she didn’t miss Amy. But after today, she found the wound that had been left inside hurt just a little bit less than usual. Enough that she hoped she would sleep a dreamless sleep until morning came. Still, she reached a hand out from under the comforter and placed the picture upside down so she wouldn’t have to look at it again. She closed her eyes then, exhaling deeply and willed sleep to find her.

* * *

She woke when her phone pinged beside her. At first she made no move to grab it, eyes remaining closed. That is, until it made the same sound, imploring her to open her eyes and be present enough to see what the message was. She already knew it was a contract offer, all that remained were the details. The third ping got her eyes open and forced her to sit up. She sighed and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand before reaching for the phone. 

An assassination target. All the other information she was given besides the target’s name was an amount and a last known. The name wasn’t familiar but that wasn’t uncommon. She kept herself at a distance as best she could, so if someone had a contract on their head didn’t mean she would automatically know why and chances were the person that was offering the contract wouldn’t be as forthcoming as they could be, only revealing what information they deemed necessary. Vox hit the reply button as she turned and planted her feet on the floor. A simple confirmation was all that was required to claim the job for herself.

She rose before quietly beginning to dress. When she’d finished, straightening up from tying her boots, she glanced above her bed. Mounted above the headboard was a sword, a katana to be exact, with a vibrant purple stylized grip and black leather sheath. With a practiced movement, Vox reached up and plucked the sword from its place of honor and slung it over her shoulder. It’s weight settled against her back like a comfort. For a moment she was taken back to when she’d been given the weapon, could still feel Amy’s calloused touch as their hands brushed when she gave it to her. She remembered how her love had told her that in Japanese culture each sword is a living thing, with a soul. To wield a blade meant having respect for the blade and to conduct oneself with honor. 

Vox had spent years honing this skill, learning the art of this weapon and what came with it. She no longer carried a gun, only the sword. She needed nothing else to do her job and do it well and with precision. The sword had never failed her and it was one of the last tangible things she had left of Amy. She trusted her life to it and she had never once regretted it. 

So, as she stepped outside and into the warm morning light, she felt a calm settle over her. The sword would not fail her and of that she was certain. 

* * *

When Vox would finally return to Amsterdam nearly two weeks later, she would be exhausted and beaten down and bloody, but alive. The target, a smuggler that had gotten too big for his means and screwed the wrong person, had been dispatched and her reward collected. Now, she sat in a train car, tucked away in a private room, carefully cleaning her sword as she did every time she finished a job. She handled the blade with utmost care, wiping again and again until the metal shone in the setting sunlight streaming in from the window. 

Soon, the train slowed to a stop and it was time to depart. Her home wasn’t far and she was in no hurry, each step a bit more difficult than she would’ve liked. Her target, though outmatched, had put up quite a fight and her muscles ached and there was at least one cut that was beginning to heal. The rest of her body felt like one giant bruise, but it was nothing she hadn’t dealt with before. 

Still, once she returned home and stowed her things, placing the sword back in its correct place, she couldn’t help wanting something other than just a shower and maybe some sleep. She contemplated things as she scrubbed herself down before getting out a putting on a fresh set of clothes. 

She sighed. She wanted to see Billy. 

It was all she could think about ever since she’d finished and stepped foot on that train, giving her time to herself. She wondered if he would be pleased to see her only to immediately regret it. It didn’t matter because he could just pretend he was. She scolded himself for acting like she wanted to go see a boyfriend. 

Still, she decided to go, quietly exiting the house and making her way across town and into the red light district. 

Inside the brothel, the same woman stood behind the desk. Things were just the same as when she’d come in before, same dim lighting and leather furniture. The place smelled faintly of cigarette smoke. The woman working the desk recognized Vox as soon as she stepped in and greeted her in Dutch. Vox offered the best smile she could and asked if Billy was open. 

It turned out that no, he was not. He was with another client. 

This presented a dilemma. She could wait, that was true, but that meant stowing any wayward urges for the time being and either taking a seat on one of the plush couches or leaving and heading back out into the city, only to come back later to see if he had opened up. Neither prospect was what she had in mind on the way over. 

On the other hand, she could look at the other people listed in the catalog and take her pick. She doubted anybody else would be into the exact same sorta thing she and Billy had gotten up to the last time but that didn’t necessarily mean they couldn’t have some fun. Still, she wasn’t sure if anyone else would treat her like he had. There was something about Billy, something about the way he’d been with her that she couldn’t help wanting to experience again. He hadn’t been short with her the way she would’ve expected from a man like him, he hadn’t gotten tired or impatient with her when her self esteem issues began to manifest. Not everybody was going to be like that, even if they were being paid. She vaguely wondered if he was like that with all his clients. 

She could choose a woman, that was always an option. Vox was sure there were plenty that would suit her needs but what if that brought up shit? She didn’t want to end up thinking about Amy the whole time, which is usually what happened whenever a pretty girl so much as talked to her. In the end, she decided to wait, stepping back out onto the street to see what she could do to pass a bit of time. 

As she walked, she dug around in her sweatshirt until she pulled out a carton and a lighter. She flipped open the top, carefully pulling out a slender cigarette, closing the top as she held it between her fingers. She stepped aside, next to the canal, pushing the top off her lighter with her thumb. It took a second for her to get the thing to light, but once it did, she quickly lit the end of the cigarette, nudging the lighter closed again and stuffing it and the carton back in her sweatshirt. She took a grateful drag then, letting the smoke settle in her lungs for a moment before exhaling in a long plume. It was a nasty habit, she knew that, but the nicotine helped calm her nerves and get her to relax. 

She smoked as she walked, wandering through the other streets around the redlight district. Eventually, she found herself standing in front of an old antique shop. The sign above in Dutch was wooden on a wrought iron post and swayed gently in the evening breeze. The outside of the shop was also primarily wooden, with a paned glass window and a door that looked like it had seen better days. Still, she decided to take a look inside. She exhaled the last bit of smoke from her cigarette before dropping it to the stone and snuffing it out with the tip of her boot. 

Inside smelled like old wood and burnished metal, the dust inhaled with every breath. The old man behind the counter looked as ancient as the wares he was selling. He claimed everything was authentic in quick, clipped Dutch. She did her best to keep up with his words as she wandered around, squeezing between shelves filled with old books and walls displaying every kind of cuckoo clock a person could possibly want. Mostly it all just seemed like a bunch of junk. But, as she passed a glass display case, something caught her eye.

  
It was worn a little around the edges, but still shone in the faint light. The golden metal was engraved with a rose, it’s petals painted carefully, almost perfectly, in a pure black color. Even the chain was beautiful and unblemished. The pocket watch was practically perfect, it even ran when it once had stopped, thanks to the shop owner, or so he claimed. Nonetheless, Vox knew she couldn’t leave without it. The price was a little steep, but it was a lovely piece, so she didn’t feel so bad about paying it. As she walked back out onto the street, the watch wrapped in a velveteen bag and stored safely in her pocket, she couldn’t help feeling a little bit lighter as she slowly wound her way back toward the redlight district. 

She soon was back in front of the brothel, more than an hour having past. She went back inside, greeting the woman at the desk once more. She was pleased when she was informed that Billy was now free and could see her. So, once more she offered up her credit card and allowed the bodyguard to pat her down. Once she was deemed to not be a threat, she was led back to Billy’s room and allowed inside. 

He was sitting on the couch in the front room, wrapped in a red silk robe like the one he’d put on the last time they were together. His long legs were propped up on the coffee table and she couldn’t help that she was a little disappointed that they were crossed, preventing her from getting an eyeful. As she stepped forward, a board creaked beneath her boots and he looked up. Did his eyes brighten a little when he saw her or was she just imagining things?

“Hey...You came back.” Billy planted his feet on the floor and stood up, smoothing his robe down as he approached. “It’s good to see you.”

Vox smiled softly, reaching to touch his arm. “It’s good to see you too.”

He looked like he was about to lean in when he stopped, reaching to touch her cheek. “What happened?” He asked softly, concern seeping into his voice. He brushed his thumb over a cut on her cheek, a bruise blossoming around it. He then touched her lip, which was split.

She flushed, having completely forgotten about how she might look. “I’m fine, it’s okay. It’s just from my job. I got punched, a few times, nothing I can’t handle.”

He blinked a moment, clearly not having expected that. But he didn’t press, instead surprising her, leaning to kiss her, almost sweetly, mindful of her lip, his hands going to her waist. Her heart gave a painful thump in her chest. She responded in kind, winding her arms around his neck. When he pulled back, Billy began to kiss along her jaw, his teeth nipping at her ear lobe. “I’ve missed you.” He murmured and a shiver trailed down her spine. 

“Really?” She asked, turning her head to look at him. 

“Yeah. I mean, we had fun. This job is always a lot better when you’re having fun. I really enjoyed being with you last time.” 

She gave him a small smile before carefully reaching into her pocket and pulling out the velvet bag. “I had fun too.” She said, brushing her thumb over the soft fabric, “So I guess I sorta got you something, you know, to say thank you.” She offered the pouch to him. 

Billy blinked in surprise but he took the bag, long fingers carefully untying the top and opening it, letting the object inside slide out and onto his palm. He carefully touched the watch, turning it over in his hand, taking in it’s details. “You didn’t have to get me this, especially not something so...beautiful.”

“A beautiful piece for a beautiful man.” She responded simply. She knew she didn’t have to, that it was more than a little strange, but when she saw the watch in the antique store, she could think of no better person to get it for than him.

“Well, thank you. I will keep it close.” He moved over to one of the sitting chairs where his suit was laid over the back and stowed the watch in the pocket. 

It wasn’t long before he’d come back over to her, his arms slipping around her waist once more, lips curling up into a smile as his lips brushed against hers. “You treat me so good.” 

“I hadn’t felt as good as I did with you, not in such a long time.” She allowed him to help her out of her jacket, leaving her in just a t shirt. Her hands went to his robe, untying the knot and letting the sides fall away, revealing nothing but bare skin underneath. “Now, tell me what you’d like for us to do, sweetheart.” This time she wasn’t so ashamed about touching him, about being with him, her hand reaching to grip his manhood, which had already begun to stiffen. 

Billy let out a soft moan, kissing her again, his hands coming up to frame her face. “Whatever you want, I know it’s gonna be good.” 

She kissed him back with fervor, groaning when he licked into her mouth, tasting every bit of her. Her hand worked over him, teasing the head with her thumb. Hearing him whine quietly was enough to raise goosebumps on her arms. He pulled back, taking her hand away from him and looking toward the bedroom. She got the message, following him back into the bedroom where he closed the door. 

  
As soon as the door shut, he was on her again, kissing her in a way that was almost desperate. The robe was slipped off his shoulders but he didn’t seem to notice, too busy marking her throat, his lips trailing down to her collar bone. She knitted her hands in his hair, getting lost in the feeling of his hands on her all over again. 

But the next thing he knew, he was being pressed back against the bed, not in a demanding sort of way but enough to get him to lay back. She followed soon after, kneeling first before spreading his legs and taking her place between them. 

“You are so damn beautiful.” She purred, pressing a kiss to the side of his dick, enjoying the way it was just as flushed as both his cheeks and chest. She couldn’t help teasing a little, letting her lips brush along the sensitive skin but giving little else. He fidgeted beneath her, anticipation growing in his belly. 

She flashed a grin at him, kissing the head this time before letting her tongue drag across the slit. This elicited a moan, Billy’s eyes falling closed. She continued, taking the head first, giving it extra attention before swallowing down even more until tears pricked her eyes. Soon his hand was in her hair, stroking the short locks and her mouth worked over him. He couldn’t help leveling praise at her, they both seemed to enjoy that. 

Soon he was gently pushing her back. “I don’t want this to be over yet.” He breathed, pushing her bangs back from her face. 

She licked her lips, leaning into his touch. “Of course not, we wouldn’t want that, not when we haven’t even got to the best part yet. Now, roll over sweet boy, so I can have my way with you.” Her lips pulled back to reveal a mischievous grin, one that made his heart kick up in his chest. 

Nonetheless, he did as he was told, his breath coming a bit faster as he settled onto all fours. He tried to patient as he heard the rustle of fabric being removed and then watching her from the corner of his eye as she went to the disguised room and got what she wanted before returning, pausing just long to grab the lube before climbing back onto the bed. 

“I don’t think I could ever get tired of this view.” She told him as she opened him up, first one finger and then two and then a third. It was enough to have him down on his elbows, ducking his head and squeezing his eyes shut, a moan escaping him as she found that one place that made everything feel perfect. 

“You are so goddamn perfect, sweet boy. I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.” She kissed along his spine, lips brushing over scars. She pressed herself against his back, grinding her hips against hers, the fake dick teasing between his cheeks. He groaned, loving the feeling of her hands on him. “You’ve been so good, such a good boy.”

“Yeah? Gonna fuck me? Good boys deserve to be fucked.”

She chuckled, her breath ghosting over the base of his neck. “Yes, yes they do.” 

All it took was a jerk of her hips and she was inside him, making his breath catch in his throat. He let his head rest against his forearms, needing a second to catch his breath, a little taken by surprise at just how deep she was. He moaned brokenly, pressing back against her. 

“Fuck, you sound so goddamn perfect.” She kissed over the freckles on his shoulders, beginning to thrust against him, the sound raising goosebumps on her skin.

Billy moved in sync with her, rocking back to meet her hips, his hands gripping the sheets tightly. “Yes, yes, fuck. Just like that, fucking shit.”

She grinned against his skin, putting all of her weight behind every thrust, jolting him again and again. He seemed to like it that way, liked when she pounded him into him and dug her nails into his skin. He wanted to really feel it, even after they were finished. So, she gave him what he wanted, even reaching to grab a handful of hair and tugging. The sound Billy made was enough of a reward, urging her to move faster, to fuck him harder.

“Such a good boy,” She murmured, slowing so she could grind herself against that sweet spot. Billy shuddered, another perfect moan escaping him, turning into a whine when sank her teeth into his shoulder. 

  
She reached beneath him, then taking hold of his poor forgotten cock. It was red and weeping and she knew he wouldn’t be able to last much longer. She kissed the bite she’d left, beginning to stroke his cock in time with her thrusts. “You’re close, aren’t you, sweet boy?” She wrapped her free arm around him, caressing the trembling muscles of his stomach.

Billy nodded quickly, every other breath coming out a moan. “Yes, god yes, you feel too damn good.”

She leaned into him, her head resting against his back, using all of her strength to give him what he wanted. She soaked in every sound he made, every breathless gasp, every wordless cry. She couldn’t explain why she loved this so much, why it made her feel good. All she knew was that she could spend hours listening to him like this and it only made it more appealing that she was the one causing him to make those sounds. If she could spend everyday like this, she knew she would’ve. She’d never been with a partner that made her feel so good and without trying. Maybe it was because she’d gone without anyone for so long, but honestly, it didn’t matter why. All that mattered was that they were both enjoying themselves and obviously had some sort of connection, even if it was mostly just something physical. 

Billy suddenly groaned loudly, his body tensing up against her. He felt hot all over and he was panting heavily now. “Shit, I’m gonna - I can’t -”

“Go on, you’ve been such a good boy. Come for me, sweet boy, you deserve it.” She kissed along his shoulders, not slowing down at all.

Soon, Billy’s whole body shuddered and the noise that escaped his mouth sounded guttural and raw, like it was torn from deep inside. She felt it as he spilled into her hand and onto the sheets, warm and sticky. She didn’t stop until the only sound he made was a whine, everything becoming too much for him to handle. 

Slowly, she let go of him and pulled herself off. As soon as she did, his legs gave out and he allowed himself to collapse into a heap on the bed, practically sinking into the sheets, not much caring about the mess he had made. 

She removed the strap, tossing it aside before joining him, laying down next to him. Her whole body felt worn out, her thighs burning. It was a good feeling though, like a job well done. She settled for a moment before deciding to get up. She came back after a brief time in the bathroom, coming back with a damp washcloth. “Roll over, sweetheart.” She murmured softly, touching his shoulder. Billy grunted but obeyed, rolling onto his back. She leaned to clean off his messy stomach, enjoying the soft smile that pulled at his lips, his eyes still closed. Once she finished, she then pulled the soiled comforter back and off the bed so they wouldn’t have to rest on it. Afterward, she climbed back into bed, lying down next to him. 

Billy turned to face her then, his eyes opening. His breath caught, really getting a good look at her for the first time since she’d arrived. His eyes took in the bruises smattered all over her body, the cuts across her arms and over her chest. He carefully reached to touch a scar he’d never noticed before, one clearly from a bullet, on her right hip, right at her waistline. “This is all from your job? What do you do? Are you some sort of MMA fighter? And why didn’t I notice this scar before?” 

Vox swallowed nervously, fidgeting a bit. “Yeah, I mean, getting beat up sorta comes with the territory. But no, I’m not a fighter or anything like that. I’m uh…” She chewed her lip, debating how truthful she should be. What would he think if she told him the truth? Would he even believe her? Would he be afraid of her? 

“Let’s just say, I’m only really good at one thing and that thing is pretty dangerous but it gives me what I need and makes sure I don’t have to worry about money. And the scar? I usually keep it covered with makeup. I just didn’t bother this time.” She wasn’t going to be seeing anyone besides him so she hadn’t thought it was necessary. A shiver trailed down her spine as he brushed a thumb over the small scar. 

“Why cover it? What is it from?”

Vox again debated how much she should divulge. She disliked the idea of lying to him but also didn’t want what she said to get him into trouble. Who knew what people he spent his time with and what ties they had? 

“It’s from someone who really wanted me to die. But I guess the universe had other plans in mind. I cover it because...well, it’s an identifying mark when I do my best to do my work anonymously, that’s all. Call it me being paranoid and taking a precaution.” She reached to take his hand, threading their fingers together. “Don’t worry about it. I’m fine, everything is fine.”

He was quiet for a long moment before giving her hand a squeeze. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

She smiled gently. “I am. It’s nothing I’m not used to. But I do appreciate the concern. It’s just not something I get a lot.” She moved closer, kissing along his cheek, feeling his beard brush against her skin. He reached to wrap an arm around her waist, bringing her close. Together, they sank back into the pillows, her head laying on his chest. He pulled the sheet up to cover them, allowing her to get as close as she wanted. 

  
He was pleased she hadn’t simply walked out after they were done, though after last time, it seemed that wasn’t her style. It felt nice to have someone stay with him, to have that connection, however fleeting it was. He found his eyes growing heavy as they rested together, his fingers combing through her hair. Soon enough he had dozed off, feeling at ease with her at his side. 

She smiled to herself as she felt his breathing even out. She was feeling a little worn out herself so could understand why he would be tired. She knew it was completely strange to stay with him like this, but she needed and longed for the companionship and she would take it however she could get it. He didn’t seem to mind either and she liked that he trusted her enough to let her stick around like this. She let her eyes close and her body relax. Sleep pulled at her and soon she found herself slipping under.

* * *

When she woke a while later, she felt warm and content. As she opened her eyes, she momentarily forgot where she was, but then everything slowly came seeping back into her memory. She wasn’t at home, she was with Billy. She tipped her head up to look at him, a soft smile spreading over her lips as she found him sleeping soundly. She leaned up to kiss his cheeks and then the tip of his nose and finally his lips. 

He stirred a bit, his lips turning down like he was suppressing a smile, before his eyes fluttered open and his sleepy gaze fell on her. Her heart skipped when he leaned to press a kiss to her head. “Hey.”

“Hi.” She pressed a kiss to his shoulder, reaching to caress a hand over his cheek. “Think you’ll be up for a little more fun before I go?” 

He chuckled softly, kissing her lips this time. “I think I can manage that.”

“Always such a good boy.” She murmured, bringing him in for another kiss. She let her hand drift below the sheet then, massaging against his manhood, hoping a simple touch would be enough to get him up and aroused. 

Apparently it was, as soon he was growing hard under her touch. He pushed himself up against the headboard then, reaching to guide her along with him so she was in his lap, a knee planted on either side. It took only a few quick movements, leaning over to dig in the nightstand and putting the rubber in place before she sank down, a deep groan escaping her lips. 

He fit her so damn perfectly, filling her up just the way she wanted. She began to rock her hips back and forth, shivering at the feeling of having him like this. Her arms slipped around his neck as they traded open mouthed kisses. His arms held her close, enjoying the feeling of having her pressed against him. 

“It’s nice seeing you like this, sweetheart. You look fucking beautiful on my dick.” He really did mean it too, he liked knowing he could make her feel just as good as she made him feel. He liked being taken care of, that was true, but he liked this almost just as much. She deserved to be taken care of as much as he did. 

She leaned against him, burying her face in the crook of his neck, her nails digging into his shoulders. “You feel so good, sweet boy.” She whined, her breath turning to soft pants. She moaned as he shifted to meet her hips at every turn, sinking him deeper. His hands caressed down her back, tracing old scars. 

He captured her mouth with his own when she lifted her head, groaning against her lips. His hand slipped between them and touched her, fingers soon coated in her slick. “Are you going to come for me, sweetheart?” His lips ghosted over hers as he spoke. 

She kissed him hard, nipping at his lip. “Yes, fucking yes, you feel so goddamn perfect.” She cupped his face in her hands, kissing him again and again as his fingers massaged over her clit, pushing her closer and closer to the edge. 

Soon she was shuddering, holding onto him for dear life, burying her face in his shoulder once more as she moaned, squeezing around him like a vice. He held on to her, kissing along her shoulder as he groaned, coming undone nearly at the same time as she did. 

They held each other that way for a long time as they both came down, leaning into each other for support. She placed light kisses along his neck and then under his jaw before kissing his lips properly. He smiled against her mouth, before pulling back to kiss her cheeks, smoothing her hair down. She didn’t want to move, not really, content to be wrapped up in him forever, but she knew she needed to be going soon. She couldn’t stay forever. 

So, she forced herself to untangle from him and climb out of bed, slowly beginning to dress. He donned his robe again, coming up to help slip back into her clothes. She relished every faint touch, her brush of his skin against hers as he slid the straps of her bra back into place, the faint scrap of fingertips at her waist as he tugged her shirt back into place. 

Once again, she found herself standing at the door, unable to just walk out. Again, she stopped and turned back, pulling him in for one last kiss. She let it linger, her thumbs rubbing against his beard as she cradled his face. “Thank you…” She told him, though she knew it was a rather dumb thing to say.

He didn’t seem to mind, as he was smiling again. “I should be thanking you, especially for the gift.” 

“Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty more opportunities to thank me.” Vox found herself smiling back, even as she let go of him and took a breath, stepping back.

She turned, gave him one last small quirk of her lips, and was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up at saintaleksander on Tumblr.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vox finds herself in situation that forces her to relive her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry I take forever with updates but don't worry, even if I post other things, I am in no way giving up on this story. Beware, warnings have changed.

Long, elegant fingers. Soft hands. An equally soft smile, perfectly white. A touch that was without violence, without anger, something she wasn’t used to. A laugh that filled her with warmth. He was better than anything she could’ve ever asked for. 

The next breath she inhaled smelled like old wood and mold. She could feel the cold seeping in, chilling her down to the bone. Her neck was throbbing, radiating down through the rest of her body. When her eyes opened, she was alone in an expanse of darkness, the only light filtering in through a window off to her right, a jagged hole in the top as though someone had shot through the glass. She felt groggy and it took a few moments before her head cleared enough for her to think clearly.

She was lying on her right side, her wrists bound behind her, rope wrapped around her ankles. It took a minute for her to recall what had happened, to shake off her dreams and remember what had gotten her here. 

She remembered coming home from a long night of surveillance, wrapped up in her leather jacket, her duffel over her shoulder, key in hand. She was staying in another unassuming motel, one that took cash and had a manager that didn’t ask questions. 

As soon as she pulled the key out of the lock and pushed the door open, she knew something was wrong. She could smell tobacco in the air and noticed immediately that things weren’t the way she had left them. Her only other bag was opened when it had been closed and it had been moved from the floor to the table, telling her that someone had gone through it.

The moment the door closed behind her, she had seen the man materialize out of the shadows like some sort of wraith. But when she met him in the middle of the room, his hands going for her throat just as she landed a swift kick to his abdomen, she knew he was indeed very real. 

He doubled over and she quickly slammed her fist into his cheek, but he recovered quickly, diving at her and sending them both to the floor. They grappled back and forth, each trying to get the upper hand, trading blows, until he clamped a hand over her mouth. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t scream, and his weight on top of her made it harder and harder to move, even as she struggled. The last thing she remembered was a sharp pain in the side of her neck. By the time she realized he’d given her something, she was already slipping under. 

* * *

She did her best to push herself up into a sitting position, ignoring the pain she felt and did the best to assess her surroundings, though it was hard to see much of anything in the faint moonlight shining down onto the floor. It was cold enough that she felt like shivering despite the fact that she was still wearing her jacket. She could feel old wood beneath her, smell the moisture and mold in the air. She sat still for a long moment, simply listening to the world around her. She couldn’t hear much of anything, just the wind whistling through the broken glass in the window and the cracks in the wood. She was alone. But why had she been brought here in the first place and by who? 

Her target for this job had been a mobster and for that reason she had a feeling she was being contracted by another government entity though she could never be sure. The man made his money the way most men like him did, running drugs and guns and girls and laundering funds every which way from Sunday. She had been given a profile that had proven helpful for an overall picture but not in regards to actually finishing the job. Thankfully, after staking out a few of his known haunts, she’d managed to hone in on him. When she returned to the motel, it had been to plan her next move, which would most certainly involve sticking the unfriendly end of her sword where it counted. 

Now if she had to guess, it seemed someone had most likely found out what she was in town to do and was intent on getting in her way. As much as she hated inconveniences, she was going to have to deal with this one way or another if she wanted to get to the mobster and fulfill the contract before the deadline expired. 

She knew if she was going to get out of here, she needed to get these ropes off and find some sort of exit. She began to feel along the floor around her, using her feet to shuffle along as well as to search for something sharp that might be useful. Every minute, every second that passed by, she was aware that her captor could return and she would be in an especially vulnerable position. 

But then, just as she was about to give up and try to think of any way out of this, she felt a board give way beneath her boot, creating an edge in the floor. She tried not to think about the fact that she couldn’t see what she was touching as she turned herself and lowered her wrists beneath the sharp end of the board, carefully beginning to grind the rope against the splintered wood, hoping it would be sharp enough to get her out of her bonds. She winced as the wood sank into her skin repeatedly, but ignored it just as she ignored the pain still in her neck from being drugged. She let out a relieved breath as she realized the rope was loosening and it was working. 

As soon as the rope released, she moved away from the hole in the floor in case more boards were ready to give way and quickly reached to undo the bonds around her ankles. Getting up was harder than she imagined as she was still feeling the effects from the drug. She tried once, twice, and finally managed the third time. She took a moment to simply breathe, to take stock of what she was feeling and concluded that she was going to be covered in bruises but other than that and the residual pain from the drug, she was okay. She stepped carefully into the darkness, feeling along the wall for some sort of door or gap in the wall that she could go through. She knew what she’d found when her knuckles bumped against something cold and metallic, immediately grabbing it and trying to turn it, but the knob wouldn’t budge. She was locked in. 

She stepped back and inhaled deeply, gathering her energy before surging forward and planting her foot right in the middle of what she hoped was the door and not a solid wall. There was a grinding sound, the hinges whining, but somehow the door remained in place. The second kick nearly sent her foot splintering through the wood but the lock gave way and the door swung open. 

In the faint light, she could see the door opened into a hallway that terminated to her left and continued on to her right. She followed the hallway then, past several other rooms, some with doors closed and a few that were open, revealing more darkness or trash strewn floors and discarded, dusty furniture. It appeared she was in some sort of old, run down house. She wandered into what must have once been a living room, off of which was a kitchen complete with an old dishwasher, its door open, revealing a dark emptiness inside. 

She finally found herself in the front room, large picture windows dominating the space, except most of them were boarded over. She let out a relieved breath at the sight of the front door, prepared to kick that down too if need be, no matter if her head was still swimming or not. 

She didn’t get the chance to test the door though, because it was then that she heard the rumble of an engine outside, followed by the skidding of tires stopping on gravel and the slam of a car door. Immediately, she was in motion, sinking back into the shadows, preparing herself for whoever was about to come through that door.

There was the sound of footsteps thudding on wood followed by a key turning a lock. The door opened then, creaking as it went. The room filled with light from outside, spilling into the dark expanse of the house, revealing the stained and soiled carpet and the bare wooden walls. Thankfully, she remained out of sight, hidden by the darkness provided by the covered windows.

A figure stepped into the light before entering the house and though Vox couldn’t make out any features, she could tell what the man had strapped to his back. Anger rose up in her at the idea of someone else, some disgusting stranger, touching the sword Amy had given her. In that moment, she couldn’t think beyond her anger and though she felt uneasy on her feet, she found herself charging forward, knocking into the man at full force. 

He stumbled back, caught off guard, and soon they were both tumbling head over heel down the front steps of the house. They landed with her on top of him and she took the opening, cracking her fist against his jaw. He responded by driving both hands into her gut, knocking the wind out of her and allowing him to roll them over, pinning her to the ground. She squirmed and bucked, refusing to let him get the upper hand. 

The next thing she knew, he had her arms pinned down with his knees and she heard the sound of her sword as it was sled from the sheath. In the span of a single breath, she felt the sharp edge press against her throat, causing her to still. She was face to face with her attacker then. 

Even in the low light, she could tell he had striking blue eyes and a pretty face, a sharp jaw and high cheekbones. It was surprising, considering he most likely worked for a mobster. The mob usually didn’t value someone for their good looks. His lips were pulled back in a sneer, revealing prominent canines. 

“You have been a pain for too long.” He hissed, his voice deep and rumbling.

She blinked, unsure of what he meant. “Just because you kill me doesn’t mean your boss will be safe. There will be another after me, and another and another until he’s dead. So go ahead, kill me. See where it gets you.” She challenged.

The sneer turned into a smirk, sending a chill down her spine. “You think I’m here because of your contract? Stupid, stupid girl.” He pressed the sword closer and she felt as the blade dug into her skin, drawing blood. 

He wasn’t sent by her target? Then who the hell was he and what was he doing here?

“Don’t worry,” He cooed in a mocking tone, “no one remembered your girl and no one will remember you.” He pulled the sword back and turned it in his hands so the end of the blade was pointing toward her heart. In clumsy Japanese he murmured,  _ “I am but your humble servant.” _

The anger she had felt seeing him with her sword was nothing like the anger that surged through her then. It filled her, every molecule and cell, until she felt like she was nothing else. The sound that she made betrayed every ounce of rage she felt inside and pushed her to free herself, wrenching her arms free and grabbing hold of the blade, even as it sliced into her palms. She used every bit of strength she had to keep the edge from piercing her chest and push the blade away. She used the momentum to shove him off, knocking the sword from his hand. She staggered to her feet, snatching the sword before her attacker could recover. 

She stood over him then, holding the blade at the ready. “Get up!” She barked. When he didn’t move fast enough, she kicked him as hard as she could. When he was finally up, she backed him up against the side of the van he’d arrived in. 

“Who the hell are you and who sent you?” She demanded, her voice leaving no room for argument. 

Still, all the man did was smirk. “You have been living on borrowed time Miss Matthews, I thought you would’ve realized that by now.”

“Answer me!”

He laughed, a bitter, biting sound. “I am no one. I’m like you, a hired gun. Who I am changes nothing. Go ahead and kill me. My bosses will find you or someone like me will and that will be the end of you and everyone you care about. There is nowhere for you to run, they will always find -”

He didn’t get a chance to finish. Vox had heard enough. In one swift moment, she’d turned the sword up, sinking the end of the blade into the man’s throat, blood pouring forth to flow down the front of his clothes in one long gush. He made a loud, choked off noise, hands lifting to try and do something to pull the blade free and stop the blood but it was all wasted motion. Within moments, his body sagged as the life drained out of him right before her eyes. Once he ceased moving, she pulled the blade free and watched his body sink slowly to the ground, leaving a bloody streak against the metallic side of the van. 

For a long time, she didn’t move, simply stood, inhaling deep lungfuls of the night air, her anger seeping from her senses as fast as it had come. Eventually she began the arduous process of disposing of the body, but not before taking the time to clean her sword. It felt good to have it in her hands again. In the van she found everything else he had taken from her. She pulled her pack of cigarettes from the bag and took a moment to light one up before grabbing the small first aid kit stashed in the bag. There was enough gauze for her to wrap her hands as she leaned against the van, puffs of smoke rising in the cool air as she worked. 

_ I am but your humble servant. _

The words echoed over and over in her head. In an instant she was transported back to the day Amy had died and she had been left for dead. Those were the very same words that she’d heard moments after Amy had been executed and she had been left bleeding in the desert with a bullet in her hip, discarded like she was nothing more than human garbage. 

How had they found her? She’d done her best to disappear and it seemed, so had they, but not anymore. Now the people she had once viewed as friends, even as family, were out to finish what they started. 

As Vox finished her cigarette, making sure to pocket the stub so as to not leave her DNA, she knew that eventually she would come face to face with the people that had tried to end her life. What she would have to make sure of was that it was her terms, not theirs. She was going to have to be one step ahead if she wanted to finish this. She stepped up into the van and closed the door, turning the engine over. 

Fine. She would find them and face them down. Except this time, she wouldn’t be the one maimed for life.

* * *

The mobster became an afterthought. Even as she drove her sword into the man’s chest, she found her mind focused on other things, on the people that still wished her harm and what they had in store for her next. As she rode home in yet another train car, she was brought back to the last days of Amy’s life. 

Going into the military had never been her first choice in any sense. But her father was a pushy bastard on top of being an abusive douchebag and her mother wasn’t much better. They weren’t a well off family and she doubted that her parents would’ve helped pay for college anyway, so going into the service was one of the less awful choices presented to her and the only one her family was willing to get behind. She was fairly certain the reason her father was so gungho on the idea was because he hoped the military would whip out of her the part that was attracted to women. She hadn’t seen her parents in years but she wished she could rub it in their faces that she was still as much of a deviant as ever.

She lasted five years in the Marines before her mental state began to deteriorate. The last straw came one October evening when the darkness inside her swallowed her up to the point she couldn’t see anything but black. She woke up in a hospital psych ward back home, her wrists wrapped with gauze and strapped to the bed. Within days they diagnosed her with major depression and PTSD. It came as no surprise when she was informed that the Marines no longer required her service. 

After she was discharged from the hospital and handed her papers from the US government, she bounced from place to place, trying to find somewhere to fit in. Finding work was difficult, harder than she ever would’ve expected. It wasn’t just her own illness that was holding her back, or the fact that few people wanted to hire a suicidal vet. She just knew that she wasn’t made to do normal work like everyone else. The military had honed her sharp edges into a swift point, her fists into tools only useful for one thing, her body an instrument to wield and nothing more. The skills she had were not compatible for civilian life. The next thing she knew, she was back overseas, working for any company willing to pay enough, doing whatever was asked of her, even if it meant getting her hands a little bloody.

That was how she met Amy. They’d both been contracted with the same company, assigned to guard a very expensive pair of aircraft. It had been by chance that Vox and Amy had been given the same shifts and it only took a few postings together before the pretty redhead asked her out for a drink. 

They spent that night talking for hours. Vox didn’t remember a lot of what they talked about, just that there was never a lull in the conversation and she kept getting lost in Amy’s hazel eyes. 

Amy had a story much like hers. A less than perfect family, military training right out of high school. She became one of the best shooters in her class, earning her keep as a sniper with a long list of confirmed kills to her name. But Amy and authority didn’t get along very well and as soon as she could, she took her discharge and moved on to contract work, finding it suited her much more than the regimented life of the military. 

Vox still marveled at the fact that they had ended up at the same place at the same time when there were dozens of contractors with more than a few assignments to choose from. It was one of the few times the stars had aligned in her favor. 

From then on, they always took jobs that kept them near each other. If that wasn’t possible, they got back to each other as soon as they could. As they worked more and gained more of a reputation, they began making connections with others in the business. 

First came Marie, a stout Asian woman who was a weapons specialist. She was notorious for being able to get her hands on anything you needed and was able to do it without causing trouble for anyone involved. 

Then came Adam, a blonde haired blue eyed beauty who looked way too good for what he did. He specialized in the tech aspect of any job. He could almost always get whatever information you needed for a small fee. 

Lastly, there was Mikhail, a Russian-Canadian transplant and language expert. He spoke nearly a dozen languages and was constantly learning more. He was an asset in foreign situations when not knowing the language could interfere with one’s goals. And, when talking his way out of something didn’t work, he was known to resort to threats and fists, which sometimes got him into trouble. 

Adam joined Amy and Vox first after the rest of his team abandoned him when shit went south on a job. They were the only two that stayed and together they all got out alive. Adam was the third member of their little party from then on. 

Mikhail came next, after they bailed him out of a situation when his temper had gotten the better of him and he’d ended up with a price on his head. They valued his talents, so they took care of his bounty, allowing him to work without having to watch his back so fiercely. 

Marie took more convincing. She was distrustful of everyone, as she had grown up with a father who was a high ranking member of the yakuza. In a world like that, family meant everything, but family was also not above selling your skin to the highest bidder if it came down to it. She came around eventually, but only after all four of the other members proved themselves several times over. 

Thus, they had their little gang. They took jobs together, watched each other’s backs. When trouble came looking for one of them, whoever it was had to deal with all of them. They were practically family, taking meals together and sharing living space whenever they could. Vox had never had anything like that, not since the Marines, and even then she never truly felt as though she fit in. Here, she was accepted as she was, just as she accepted everyone else as they were. She accepted Marie’s cool, mostly detached behavior for what it was. She accepted Mikhail’s frequent rages and fights. She accepted Adam’s habit of sticking his dick wherever he could whenever he had the chance. She also took Amy for what she was, the beautiful spitfire, who loved with everything she had but had such difficulty taking care of herself at the same time. Vox loved them all and she had believed they loved her. 

_ I am but your humble servant… _

She couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it all went to hell. She had noticed a few things here and there. The subtle way it seemed to become her and Amy against everyone else. The stockpiling of money and weapons. The taking of riskier and riskier jobs with less rewarding payments. 

She should’ve seen it coming. She would never forgive herself for ignoring the signs.

The last job they took wasn’t a job at all. They’d all arrived at the location given, prepared to root out a target hiding within the compound. As usual, Vox took point. She should’ve known when Adam suggested Amy come with them instead of taking up her spot at one of the vantage points available. 

As they moved from building to building, she could feel in her gut that something was wrong. Most of the buildings looked like they hadn’t been disturbed in sometime and there were no other obvious signs of habitation. 

The first shot rang out as they exited the last building. One minute she was on her feet and the next she was lying in the sand, unable to move her right leg at all, blood seeping through her fingers as she tried to staunch the bleeding.

The rest was hard to pindown in her mind. She remembered the warmth of the sand even though the sun had long since set. She remembered the stickiness of her blood on her fingers, the way it became harder and harder to focus on anything else. She remembered shouting, Amy’s screaming, yelling her name. She must have tried to sit up because the thing she remembered the most clearly was watching Mikhail shove Amy to her knees, the barrel of the pistol against the back of her head, those beautiful hazel eyes sparkling in the moonlight, locked on her, and the shot that followed. She could still recall the striking color of blood and gore against the sand. The last thing that came to her before she lost consciousness was that simple phrase, 

_ “I am but your humble servant…” _

To this day she still wasn’t sure what it meant. All she knew was that it was something Marie had uttered a few times and she had never thought about it much further than that at the time. It had to mean something though and she was damn sure going to find out what.

They’d left her for dead and that had been their biggest mistake. Some locals had heard the shots and the screaming and came to investigate, only to find Vox, so near death she barely had a pulse. Somehow, they’d gotten her to a local hospital and through some miracle of the universe, she’d made it out of what was to be one of many surgeries, alive. She gave some bullshit story when the local authorities came looking, as she certainly couldn’t have told them the truth. As soon as she could, she made her escape, knowing that sooner or later, the people she once called family would get wind that she was alive and come looking for her. 

She’d been running ever since. It took years before she felt safe enough to settle anywhere and now it seemed all that was in jeopardy. 

They’d taken the most important thing from her, the best thing she’d ever had in her entire life. They would have to finish their shitty execution if they wanted to do it again.

* * *

Once she stepped back into her home, Vox tried to put herself back at ease but she couldn’t help feeling on edge. She did what she could while she laid low. She made sure her security measures at her house were in place and functioning correctly. She got in touch with the few contacts she trusted, put feelers out to assess if anyone had seen any signs of her old friends. From the information she received, she learned nothing new. Marie had last been seen back in Japan and Adam and Mikhail hadn’t been spotted in nearly a year, most likely having gone underground, even more than she had. 

After a week, she was beginning to get a little stir crazy. She hadn’t found any information that led her to believe her location had been compromised and no one had approached her or tried anything suspicious. In the end, she knew she had to get out of the house and soon, simply for the sake of her own sanity. 

There was really only one place she wanted to go.

By now, the woman working the desk at the brothel didn’t seem surprised to see her. Thankfully, Billy was free when she arrived, so she was sent back quickly. 

Even though she had done this more than once, her heart still beat fast as she walked back to his room and let herself inside. Nonetheless, she almost felt welcomed and even comforted once the door closed, knowing that it was just the two of them. It was amazing that he could make her feel both nervous and somehow at ease at the same time. 

She heard him before she saw him. Considering how his voice sounded, it was no surprise that he could sing, she just wasn’t expecting to hear that as she entered his room. She didn’t know what song he was singing, but if she had to hazard a guess, she would’ve thought it was from a play of some sort, the tune somewhat familiar. 

She found him sitting on the bed in the other room, adjusting the cuffs of his suit. This one was was black with accents of a deep red and as usual, he looked stunning. She suspected he was getting back into something presentable after his last customer. She rapped her knuckles on the door to get his attention, wincing a bit when he started, his voice faltering. But when he turned and saw that it was her, his expression turned almost soft and he smiled.

She returned the smile, coming closer. “You look really good.” Vox perched on the bed next to him. She couldn’t help the bit of surprise she felt when he greeted her with a kiss. 

“It’s good to see you.” He said and she felt that familiar bit of warmth bloom inside her chest.

“It’s good to see you too. I’m sorry I haven’t been back in so long. Life got...complicated.” 

“S’okay. I’m still happy to see you.” Billy’s smile grew a little and he moved to sit closer to her, their thighs brushing against each other. 

“Would it be dumb if I said I’d missed you?” She wondered aloud. “I don’t wanna sound too much like a sap and I know that’s not how this is supposed to go.”

“I don’t think so. I mean, I’ve missed you.” He shrugged, “You’re always a good time. To me, there’s no shame in missing that.”

“Well I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

He chuckled, “You should.” He turned to face her and she noticed when he zeroed in on the mark on her neck. He lifted his hand to touch the pale skin, thumb brushing against the yellowing bruise that had formed where she’d been injected in the fight at the motel. “What’s this?” He asked softly, meeting her eyes.

“I told you my job isn’t exactly without its dangers. It’s nothing, I’m alright, I promise.” Vox hated making excuses but she didn’t want him to worry. 

Billy was quiet for a moment before asking, “Are there any others?”

She ducked her head, looking down at her hands. “Yeah. But I am okay, I really am. It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with in the past.” She could see the wheels turning in his head, knew he was going to try and argue, maybe ask a few more questions, but she cut him off before he could, leaning up to kiss him. “Please, I just want to forget everything that’s happened to me in the past few weeks. I don’t wanna think about what I’ve been through, I just wanna think about you and how you feel.” 

He found he didn’t have the heart to say no to her. If she said she was okay, then he was just going to have to believe her. He wanted to please her however he could and if there was one thing he could do, it was give her what she wanted. 

Billy took her hand first, guiding her into his lap. She followed easily, settling against him like she was meant to be there, slipping her arms around his neck. She visibly relaxed when he put his hands around her waist. He ducked his head, lips finding the bruises on her throat, brushing against the tender skin with care. A shiver went down her spine as she tilted her head, allowing him to kiss up under her jaw. She savored the sensation of his beard scraping against her skin, of being in his arms again. In that moment, she was grateful she’d managed to wander into the brothel in the first place. She needed this, needed a way to relax and forget everything weighing on her mind. And what better way than to drown herself in everything about this beautiful man?

When they finally kissed, it felt like it was the first time all over again. She felt herself melt into his touch, the tension draining from her body. Every time their lips met, she felt the last few weeks slip further and further away. When they parted, she nuzzled against his jaw, leaving little kisses in her wake. “I really have missed you.” She confessed softly, her hands going to his suit, beginning to unbutton it. 

“I’ve missed you too.” Billy helped her out her jacket, followed by her shirt. Goosebumps rose up as his hands skimmed down her arms. She was sure he noticed the cuts and bruises, but if he wanted to say something about them, he held his tongue. He was mindful of them nonetheless, careful not to cause her any undue pain. 

She pushed the suit off his shoulders, pleased at the bare skin that was exposed, kissing down his throat and over a shoulder. She felt his hands slipping down her back, skilled fingers unhooking her bra and sliding it off. She moaned softly when those same hands touched her chest, thumbs brushing against sensitive peaks. It felt so good to feel his hands on her like that again, to feel the heat begin to pool in the pit of her belly. She lifted her head then, hands cupping both of his cheeks, touching those beautiful cheekbones, leaning in to kiss him. “What do you want, sweet boy? I can’t imagine any better way to relax than to take care of you.”

Billy wouldn’t have admitted it out loud, but he liked when she called him one of her pet names. It made what they were doing feel more intimate, more real, rather than having it just be a transaction. He knew it was a little dangerous to look at things that way though, especially since this  _ was _ a transaction, but there was just something different about being with her as compared to being with some of his other clients. He didn’t know what it was, they just seemed to click in a way he hadn’t ever experienced before. That was why he was open about the fact that he had missed her, which was not something he would’ve said about many people, including people that he knew personally rather than professionally. He kissed her back, enjoying those soft lips against his own, that smooth skin beneath his touch. “I want to feel you again.” He admitted, pulling her closer. 

“Yeah? How do you want me, sweetheart?” 

She noticed a bit of color creeping into Billy’s cheeks, which she found rather adorable. “I want to let you have your way with me. I wanna be sore. Nobody can take care of me like you do. Nobody else cares.” His lips brushed hers again. 

It was her turn to smile. “I think we can do that. I can give you what you need.”

When they kissed once more, his hands went to her pants and it didn’t take long before they were both naked. She was glad her self consciousness had faded, that being with him gave her confidence about her appearance that she wasn’t used to. She stayed on the bed while he went after the toy and she was pleasantly surprised when he took the time to help her slip it into place. The phallus he’d chosen this time was a bit thicker and a little longer too, which she would’ve been lying if she’d have said she wasn’t a little bit turned on that he wanted more this time. 

Watching him spread out on the bed, cock already hard and at attention, was something she knew she would always find appealing, even if they did this a hundred times over. She spent the next few minutes slowly opening him up, listening to the soft moans he made, murmuring sweet praises to him as though he were some sort of deity in the flesh. His skin had a flush to it by the time she’d deemed him ready and he was panting softly with every breath. She crawled up to kiss him again, running her fingers through his hair. “Ready for me, sweet boy?”

Billy nodded, grinding his cock against her hip. “Want you so bad, want you to fuck me. I promise I’ve been a good boy.” 

She chuckled softly, kissing over his warm cheeks. “I know, you always are.”

Seeing him turn over and present himself, back bowed as he laid his head against his arms, was thrilling in a way she couldn’t quite describe. Maybe it was the amount of trust that went into this, or perhaps the simple fact that he wanted to do this at all and that he was as into the whole thing as he was. Whatever it was, it was exactly what she needed, the turmoil she’d been dealing with completely forgotten in favor of immersing herself in the moment. 

She slicked up the fake dick, teasing him a little at first, grinding between his cheeks, her hand trailing over his back. “You are so beautiful, sweetheart.” She purred as she finally slid inside. Billy’s breath caught in his throat as she pressed all the way to the hilt, his eyes squeezing shut as he swore quietly. She stopped then, making sure he had time to adjust, rubbing against the base of his spine. After a minute or two, he groaned loudly, beginning to push back against her. “Please…” His voice came out breathless. “Fuck, I need it. I need you.”

“Yeah?” She bent to kiss over his back, lips brushing against freckles that were scattered about. “What did you want me to do? Tell me again, won’t you?”   


Billy let out a half hearted note of frustration. “Fuck me, I’ve been a good boy, please.” 

The thrust he received jolted them both, making him moan loudly. She began a harsh pace, as she fully intended to give him what he asked so sweetly for.

She slipped her arms around him, pressing herself against his back as she thrust into him, enjoying the beautiful sounds he made as he pressed back to meet her hips each and every time. “You are so damn perfect, such a sweet boy.” She praised, running her hands over his stomach and down his hips. 

“You always make me feel so good.” Billy whined, his hands fisting the sheets. She nuzzled against the top of his spine, just below his nape, pressing kisses wherever she could reach. “I love it, loving giving what you need, sweetheart. Love taking care of you. You deserve it, always a good boy for me.”

She let herself fall into the rhythm of it, focusing on the sounds he made, the sweet whimpers and moans that fell from his lips. She soon found the perfect angle, one that elicited a litany of groans and curses. Her hand slipped down his stomach to grip his weeping, forgotten cock, enjoying the way his hips bucked into her touch. “So close, aren’t you, sweet boy? Don’t hold back, let go for me, sweetheart.” Vox kissed along freckled shoulder blades, refusing to slow even for a moment. 

The sound Billy made when he came undone was enough to send a chill down her spine and have goosebumps pepper her skin. She held him through it, feeling him shudder and shake, the most perfect sounds rising up from his mouth. She made sure he didn’t lay in the mess after the shaking stopped, pulling away from him long enough to remove the harness and place it on the floor before she laid down next to him. 

She couldn’t help wanting to be close to him and by now she had almost stopped caring about the reasons why she wanted such things. She just knew that after being with somebody, she wanted to be close to the other person and now was no different. She made herself comfortable underneath one of his arms, letting him borrow in as close as he pleased. She combed her fingers through his hair, fixing it before messing it up again only to fix it once more. She loved how soft it was even after what they’d done. She murmured sweet things to him, wanting him to know how good he made her feel, how much better she’d felt since she’d walked in and saw him. 

She smiled softly when obsidian eyes met hers and he kissed her sweetly. She wasn’t sure he was capable of much else at the moment, too fucked out and high off his orgasm to be able to focus clearly. That was fine with her, as she was content to press a few kisses to his lips now and then and let him doze off. 

She kicked off the comforter and pulled the sheet over them. He ran cold, so she wanted to make him comfortable. She found that as she curled in close, her head tucked under his chin, she was suddenly a lot more exhausted than she had previously thought. Maybe it was the subtle warmth between them or the even rhythmic inhale - exhale of his breathing that had her yawning. Whatever it was, her eyes soon grew heavy and like her partner, she slipped under into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Vox woke slowly, aware of the warmth surrounding her, the softness of the sheets against her bare skin. She stirred when she felt plush lips against her own, brushing over her cheeks and her forehead. Green eyes opened and she was met with a soft smile and another kiss. “How did you sleep?” He asked, pushing a stray strand of hair back into place. 

She smiled back easily, “I always sleep well when I’m next to you.” She wasn’t surprised when he kissed her yet again and she could sense the heat and the want behind it. This time she let him take control, no doubt in her mind that he would take care of her. 

He did exactly that, making sure she was comfortable as he settled between her legs, her eyes closing as soon as he put his mouth on her. She couldn’t keep quiet, couldn’t keep still, overwhelmed right from the start. The feeling only continued when he gathered her up in his arms and held her close as he pressed inside. Together they moved as one, so much so that she was unsure of where she ended and he began. She held onto him like he was her anchor in a storm, losing herself in the feeling of being completely surrounded by him. He knew exactly what to do despite the fact that this was only their third time together, just how to hold her, how to touch her, where to kiss her. Amidst her haze of pleasure, she remembered to count herself lucky that something had allowed to end up in his bed, be it fate or otherwise. 

He enjoyed the feeling of her body against his, how soft her skin was despite the cuts and bruises. She seemed to be able to please him without even trying, fitting around him like she was made for this, like this is where she belonged. He loved it, never felt this good with his other clients. Billy knew that was not a good thought to have, that he needed to keep himself detached from his work, but it seemed impossible with her. When she was gone he found himself aching to have her back, to feel those lips against his own, those hands on his body. It was almost too good, and he knew he was getting in too deep, too invested the more times he saw her. But he couldn’t bring himself to ask her to stay away, not when he enjoyed more than just sleeping with her. If it had been purely physical, maybe it would’ve been easy to keep a clear head. But he enjoyed her company just as much. He enjoyed holding her as she slept, seeing the look of peace on her face that he doubted happened very often. 

He knew the road he was traveling down probably wasn’t one with a good outcome at the end, but he couldn’t make himself stop. He didn’t want to stop. He wouldn’t. Not when he’d spent so much of his life on his own, relying on himself and no one else. Now someone had come along that actually cared about his needs and maybe, just maybe, he could find a way to keep her around. Maybe she would actually want to stay, unlike so many others in the past. All Billy really knew was that he was willing to continue on this path if it meant she kept coming to see him. 

Watching her come undone, the way she caught her lower lip between her teeth, the sweet whimper she made, was more than enough to send him over the edge. He continued to hold her close as they both rode out their highs, feeling the firm, quick beating of her heart. He kissed her over and over, savoring it while he could. He knew it wouldn’t be long before she would be going, so he was determined to continue to enjoy her as long as he could. 

In the quiet that followed, she was content to stay wrapped in his arms, though she knew she could not stay there forever. She also knew that she was treading dangerous territory by letting herself spend more time than needed with Billy but she couldn’t bring herself to simply leave right after they finished. She wasn’t used to getting any sort of affection and she wasn’t above getting it from him, so there was more than enough reason to pay extra and stick around. He didn’t seem to mind either, but then again why would he if he was getting paid? And somehow, he continued to surprise her.

Vox felt a soft brush of lips against her head, followed by, “I have something for you.”

She opened her eyes, met with his warm gaze. “What do you mean?”

Billy kissed her before untangling himself from her. She watched his backside as he walked across the room, retrieving his suit jacket and pulling something from its pocket. He then came back to the bed, settling on the edge and holding his hand and its contents out to her. 

She sat up, blinking at him curiously at the plush ring box that he was offering her. She was speechless for a moment, long enough that he chuckled a bit nervously. “It’s not what you think.” He assured. She wasn’t so sure that she believed him, but nonetheless, she picked up the little box and opened it, her heart beating fast.

It was indeed a ring, but not the kind she was expecting. It was silver with a thick band, a woman’s face dominating the rest. She had flowing hair and a golden band on her head, her eyes closed with hands held up in prayer. She was rather beautiful. Vox looked up at Billy with a raised brow, brushing her thumb over the smooth metal. He didn’t exactly strike her as a religious type but maybe she’d been wrong. 

“She’s a goddess. I’m not much for religion or faith, no god has ever done much for me. I don’t know about you and I’m not judging, but I thought maybe it would bring you a little good luck, so when the next time I see you, maybe there’s less cuts and bruises. Of course, that’s if there is a next time.” 

Vox slipped the ring onto her finger, pleasantly surprised by the fit. She wasn’t sure if there were any gods or goddesses looking down on her but she did appreciate the sentiment and the gift was rather beautiful. Plus, Billy didn’t have to. He didn’t have to care at all, to show her any sort of favor but he did anyway. That meant a lot to her. 

“There’ll be a next time.” She assured, leaning in to kiss him. She knew she didn’t need to, somewhere in the back of her mind, but it felt natural. “Thank you, this was very sweet of you. I’m not sure if it’ll help with my luck but it’s definitely worth a shot.”

She kept the ring on her finger even as she slowly dressed and prepared to go. It was bittersweet, as it always was, but compared to how she felt coming in, she felt significantly better. She waited until he’d gotten dressed before she came up to him, taking his hands. “Thank you again for the ring and being so good to me.” 

Billy smiled gently, flashing those perfect teeth before leaning in to kiss her. “You more than deserve it.” He murmured, even as their lips lingered. He pulled back only to lift her hand up and press a kiss to her knuckles. “Until we meet again.” He said, a smile still pulling at his lips.

Tucking the image of that smile close to her heart, she had no idea that when they met again would be much sooner than expected. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bother me over at saintaleksander on Tumblr.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy needs a favor and there's only one person he can turn to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope at least someone is enjoying this story.

Beautiful red hair, the color reminding her of a sunset in the summertime with its shades of copper. Hazel eyes, bright with tears and a voice that made her heartache as shared memories flashed in her mind. But that voice carried with it a desperate edge as Amy begged for her life. 

The weight of cool gunmetal in her hand. Her finger on the trigger. In the end, begging did no good, the gunshot that followed echoing loudly in the quiet night air. Blood on the ground, splattered on her boots. 

Silence. Then screaming.

* * *

Vox woke with a cold sweat staining her sheets, her stomach roiling like the sea during a storm. She barely managed to get her legs under her, her knees weak as she stumbled across the wood floor to the bathroom off the main bedroom. She faltered as she stepped past the threshold, hand shooting out to steady herself as she landed hard on her knees, the tile cold against her skin. She heaved what was left of last night’s dinner back up between shuddering sobs, awful, wracking bouts of sadness that felt like they were rattling down to her bones, the pain deep inside, a well that had depths big enough to swallow cities. 

Eventually, nothing came up except for ugly, burning bile from the pit of her stomach and slowly even that stopped, the crying ebbing away, though her eyes burned from the force. She curled up against the tub, pulling her knees up to her chest. It took a good twenty minutes before she felt calm enough to lift herself to her feet, grabbing a washcloth from the towel rack, wetting it and using it to clean her nose and mouth. She tossed the dirty thing into the hamper after and ventured down the stairs at a glacial pace, arms wrapped around herself. She stopped in the kitchen, retrieving a glass and getting some cold water from the fridge. It felt good going down, soothing her raw throat and cooling her stomach. 

She almost jumped out of her skin when a loud ringing sounded through the still house. The glass shattered at her feet, scattering glass shards and spilling water across the wood. Vox swore loudly, an emphatic  _ shit!  _ It took her a few moments before she realized that it was one of her burner phones that had caused the disturbance. 

She kept several phones, each as disposable as the last, except for the encrypted phone she took her contracts through. Most she used for mundane things, like managing her accounts and aliases. In this case, the phone that was ringing was one used to keep track of her credit cards. It rarely rang, which was why she was hesitant to answer. You could never be too careful, especially in her line of work. But she took a chance and answered anyway.

“Hello?”   
  
“Vox?” Came the breathless response on the other line. 

She knew that voice, she’d know it anywhere. She pulled back from the device, scanning the screen, as though she expected it to yield some explanation. It gave none.

“Billy?” Her voice clearly betrayed her confusion. How the hell had he gotten this number?

She was surprised when he made a sound that seemed to telegraph relief. “Thank god, this was my only plan besides turning the city upside down.” He let out a sigh.

“Explain. I never gave you a number.”   


“No, but there’s a number attached to the credit card you use to pay when you’re at the brothel. I sorta convinced the receptionist to look the other way and let me see the number.”

“Okay, but why would you do that?”   


“I need to see you.”

She was a bit flattered by that. “Well, I’ll be back -”

“No, not for that, for something else, something important. Please, I need your help.” The hint of desperation in his voice reminded him of her dream and her stomach clenched, unnerving her a little. She didn’t think Billy could be desperate in any situation. 

“I don’t know -”   
  
“Please. I wouldn’t have gone to this much trouble if it wasn’t something really important and it is, I swear.”

She still wasn’t sure. She trusted him to a degree, but she was also cautious by nature. She wasn’t sure if letting him get any closer was a good idea. But he was right, why else would he seek her out unless it was warranted? 

She let out a breath. “Okay, okay. You know that cigar place a few streets over from the brothel? Meet me there in an hour.”

Half a beat. “Alright, I’ll be there.” She could sense the relief in his voice.

“And be careful, okay? Just...watch your back. I can’t explain why, just do it, okay?”

She could practically see him nodding. “I will, I promise.”   


She said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone, cursed a few more times, took a deep breath. All she hoped was that she still had bullets for the Smith & Wesson semi-auto pistol she kept stashed in the library.

* * *

An hour later she carefully picked her way through Amsterdam’s busy afternoon streets, the pistol fully loaded and tucked into the waistband of her pants at the small of her back. She hoped she didn’t stick out too much with her all-black look, down to the biker boots and leather jacket. Finally, she spotted Billy tucked beneath the awning of the cigar shop, dressed much less fancy than she was used to in a plain grey hoodie and dark jeans. She couldn’t help the way her heart gave a particularly hard thump at the sight. He looked relieved when she approached him.

“Hey,” He greeted, fidgeting slightly.    
  
“Hi. I want you to follow me and once we get to where we’re going, then we can talk. Okay?” She was afraid to even mention that they were going back to her home in case someone was listening.   


“Okay.” He did as he was told, following behind her as she led him on a winding path back to her house, stopping and making sure again and again, that they weren’t being followed. It took a good extra half an hour to get back, but he didn’t complain once, even when she finally let them into the house and for that she was grateful. 

Vox slipped off her jacket and hung it up, but only once she’d slipped the pistol out, checked the safety and unloaded the clip. Billy didn’t so much as blink, which surprised her yet again. She toed off her boots and motioned for him to follow her deeper into the house. 

“Hungry? Thirsty?” She asked, setting the gun down on the kitchen counter. She’d cleaned up the mess from earlier and went to pour herself something to drink. Billy declined both food and drink, so with glass in hand, she led him into the sitting area, a little alcove off the main room that jutted out from the house with its greenhouse-like windows crisscrossed with vibrant vines and other plants, offering privacy from prying eyes. There were two armchairs set across from each other with a small coffee table in the middle, one with wooden edges and a clear glass middle. Vox set her glass down on it and took one of the seats. Billy took the other. 

“Thank you for this.” Billy murmured quietly. He kept his eyes down, something unusual for him, and she could tell he was ill at ease and she did her best to shake off the lingering anxiety from her nightmare and focus on this calmly.    
  
“You don’t need to thank me, clearly something is bothering you. I know you wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble unless you needed to. So what is it?” 

Billy swallowed and reached inside the pocket of his hoodie, pulling out a small square of paper. A photograph. He set it down on the table, face up. Vox let her eyes drift over it, taking in a man’s scowling face. He appeared to be older, perhaps pushing sixty or maybe older, stubble covering his jaw, deep frown lines etched into his skin. He didn’t look very friendly, that was for sure.

“Who is this?” 

“Someone that needs to be gone.” 

Vox blinked, feigning surprise. “What do you mean?”   
  
“I think you know what I mean.”

“And what makes you think I can do that?”

Billy sighed, ran a hand through his hair. “I know what you do, okay? I figured it out after your second visit. If you think I haven’t met people in your line of work before, then you would be wrong.”

“And what line of work would that be exactly?”

Billy finally looked up at her, meeting her gaze. “You’re a hitman, a hired killer. A high end one, from what I’ve gathered but a killer nonetheless.”   


“And you want this man dead. Why?”

Billy nodded, his lips set in a grim line. “I need you to. He’s recently back in the city. A friend of a friend got his address. I wrote it down on the back of the photograph.” 

Vox picked up the picture and turned it over, confirming just that. It was an address on the other side of town but she didn’t think it would pose any problems, but she would know more once she got a look at the building. The man himself though, she doubted he would be much trouble at all. 

“He got a name?”

Billy swallowed, as though it physically pained him to speak these words. “Richard Alan.”

Her voice took on a softer tone now. “You still haven’t told me why you want this guy gone.”

Billy’s eyes squeezed shut and she noticed his hands were trembling in his lap. “It’s a long story…”

She chewed her lip. “Was he a client? Is that it? A client who went too far?”

He shook his head quickly. “No, he wasn’t. I-I knew him as a child. He uh...I was under his care for a while. This was a pretty long time after my mom left. He-He…” The words got caught in his throat and he felt as though he might choke on them. 

She’d heard enough. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything else. I’ll do it.”

Billy exhaled a shaky breath. “I can pay you, probably not as much as you’re used to, but I’ll give you everything I can.”

“Keep your money.” She slipped the photograph into her pocket. 

“But I have to pay you something. I can’t ask you to do this and not pay you.”   
  
“I have plenty of money. You can pay me another way.”

Billy had a feeling he knew what she meant but nonetheless, he asked, “And what way would that be?”

She knew he was probably thinking she wanted another round in bed but that wasn’t at all what she wanted. “Stay. Have dinner with me.”

He blinked, clearly taken by surprise. “That’s it?”

She exhaled through her nose and offered a smile. “Yes, that’s all I want. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had a dinner guest. I don’t think I’ve ever had one actually. Not since I’ve been here.”

He pursed his lips, considering. “Okay, I’ll have dinner with you.” 

Vox couldn’t help feeling pleased with this. “Let’s get started then.”

* * *

Billy shed his sweatshirt, revealing a simple black tee. He finally accepted a drink, some whiskey on the rocks, and seemed content to watch her move about the kitchen. He admitted that he didn’t cook much so he wouldn’t be of much help. She didn’t mind, content to have the company as she pulled out pots and pans and got everything ready. 

Soon the kitchen began to smell warm and inviting, the scent of cooking meat in the air. He hovered close by as she basted steak in butter and garlic with herbs, sauteed mushrooms in more garlic and butter, as well as baking potatoes for each of them. He was surprised that she went to so much work simply to have dinner with him. He figured they’d simply order out. 

He didn’t stand by the whole time though, doing what he could to help. He didn’t burn anything or ruin anything so he considered that a good thing. He also made himself useful setting them each a place at the dining table that took up the bulk of the room off the kitchen. By the time she finished plating both their meals, his stomach was growling. It had been ages since he’d had a home-cooked meal and such a nice one at that.

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble on my account.” He told her as they both sat down.

Vox gave a bit of a smile, pouring herself a glass of wine. “It was no trouble. I asked for this, didn’t I? I’m honestly just happy to have you here.”

That wasn’t something Billy was used to hearing. He didn’t have many friends, just a few select people he trusted to a certain length, but he wasn’t really close to anyone. He supposed she was the person he was closest with and for once, he was okay with that. There was something different about her, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Maybe it was because they seemed to share some sort of trauma, though he didn’t have a clear picture of what that was and he wasn’t sure how much more he was ready to divulge. She didn’t seem like the type to pry either. 

“Well, I’m happy to be here.” He admitted, offering a smile of his own. He lifted his glass and she lifted hers to clink them together. He took a sip of his whiskey before beginning to dig into the food before him. 

Everything tasted wonderful, the meat was perfect, just the way he liked it, the mushrooms tender and the potato perfectly soft on the inside. He ate slowly, savoring every bite. They talked now and then, mostly about unimportant things. He didn’t feel off-put by the bouts of silence though, quite the opposite actually. The silence was companionable and easy, something else he wouldn’t be able to share with anyone else. 

As they both ate their last few bites, Vox stood up and for a moment, Billy thought she was going to get something from the kitchen or maybe begin to clear the table. Instead, she stepped over to a small table that was placed against the wall, on top of which was a record player. She pulled out a record from a stack underneath the table and placed one on the turntable, before bringing the arm down and placing the needle in the correct spot. Soon Johnny Cash’s mournful voice filled the room.

She came back over to the table, offering a hand. “May I have this dance?”

Billy blinked in surprise but didn’t protest, reaching to take her hand and stood up. They moved away from the table so they wouldn’t bump into anything. He drew her in close then, wrapping his arms around her waist while she slipped her arms around his neck. He tipped his head, letting it rest against hers as they began to sway with the sound of the music. 

It amazed her how easily they fell into intimacy. Their relationship could’ve been strictly physical and in a sense it was, but somehow they always managed to end up in a position like this, going beyond the sexual aspect between them. Neither of them seemed to mind either, though, in the back of her mind, Vox knew she continued to tread on thin ice. Her job didn’t allow for close relationships, she’d learned that the hard way and she would not lose another person to her own stupidity. But she continued to find it hard to fight the urge to be closer and closer to him, despite the oddity of it all. He was a prostitute, she wasn’t supposed to want anything more than a good time in bed with him. And yet, here she was, inviting him closer and closer all the time. 

“This is what you wanted instead of money?” Billy’s question pulled her from her thoughts. 

She hummed softly, shrugging her shoulders. “Why wouldn’t I want this? As I said, I’ve got plenty of money.” 

She let out a soft moan when his hands came up to cup her face, bringing their lips together. She kissed him back, eyes slipping closed. It amazed her how he always managed to make her ache so effortlessly. 

They continued to move with the music and she was content to stay like this, wrapped in his arms, trading soft kisses. 

But as the sun began to set and the day turned to night, as the music began to ebb away, she knew their time was running short. 

When they were left in silence, he kissed her one final time before they parted. “I should get going.” 

She nodded, though she didn’t exactly like it. Part of her wanted to ask him to stay, but she also felt like that was something she couldn’t ask for, that she shouldn’t ask for. 

She hung close by as he slipped on his hoodie and headed for the door. She caught his hand before he could open it. “Give me your number so I can call you when it’s done.” 

Billy was agreeable to that and she put his number in her phone. She couldn’t help leaning up on her toes to kiss his cheek, offering a smile. “Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon and you won’t have to worry about him anymore.” 

“Thank you.” He gave her hand one last squeeze and was gone.

* * *

Vox took a few days to prepare herself for the task at hand. She took the time to get herself in the correct frame of mind first, shaking off her nightmare as best she could. 

She made the trek across town next, wanting to get a look at the building this man lived in and see if getting in would pose any issues. The building was in one of the older parts of the city, mostly populated by worn-down homes that had seen better days. Most of the businesses had moved elsewhere long ago, leaving gaps between buildings where nature eventually reclaimed the land. 

The home Richard lived in was one of the bigger homes in the area but it had no sophisticated security system, so all it would take to get in was picking a few locks and making sure no one noticed her. 

She set out the next night, clad in black from head to toe, her hands gloved, her sword slung over her shoulder. 

She moved without sound along the street, staying out of the flood of streetlights and keeping to alleys and alcoves, the cover of darkness. 

The lock proved easy enough, even in the dark. Within minutes, the lock gave way and allowed her to open the door and step inside. 

There were few lights on in the house. It appeared she was in some sort of foyer that led into a kitchen area. Both rooms were dark except for the light coming from the glow of the clock on the oven. She noticed a light coming from a room further down the hall. She continued toward it, careful where she placed her feet, making sure she made no sound. 

The light appeared to be coming from a tv, the light shifting in intensity as a series of commercials played on the screen. The tv itself looked like a relic from a bygone era, a set with knobs and wood paneling. Her eyes went to the armchair set in front of the tv and more specifically, the man setting in it. 

She smelled his scent before she even stepped fully into the room. He smelled like cheap tobacco and stale sweat, a combination that had her wrinkling her nose. She lifted her hand to the hilt of her sword and slid it out of its sheath soundlessly. The weight in her hand was a comfort, something she’d come to expect, to even enjoy in a sense. 

As she finally passed the threshold, she used her free hand to find the light switch on the wall and flip it on. Light rushed into the room, revealing old, green carpet the shade of baby vomit and peeling floral wallpaper. The man in the chair jerked awake with a shout, swearing at her in Dutch.

Before he could move to get up, she was on him, her fist, the one with the ring Billy had given her, cracking against his skull. Blood bloomed vibrant red from the wound and he gazed at her in disbelief. At that moment, she sent up a thought of thanks that the blinds were drawn over the nearby window and no one could see them. 

“Is your name Richard Alan?” She barked in Dutch, using both hands to bring the sword up to the side of his neck, positioning her body in a way to avoid any splatter. She knew the answer, knew he was the right man, but she wanted to hear him say it, to confirm it. 

Despite the situation, the man glared at her with open defiance. “Cunt,” He spat at her. 

She rolled her eyes, pressing the blade in against his skin, hard enough to draw blood. “I’ve heard worse you pathetic sack of shit. Now answer me!” 

He growled before muttering, “Yes.”

Vox’s jaw clenched, her grip on her sword tightening, so hard her knuckles turned pale. “I want you to remember this when you’re in hell, you bastard so you listen to me and you listen well.” She didn't know all the details but she'd figured out enough simply by looking into Richard's background. She knew what he'd done, the piece of shit he truly was. When he rolled his eyes, she backhanded him with her ring hand and waited until he recovered before she continued. “This is karma, you dickbag, you hear me? This is the universe seeking revenge for your misdeeds. Think of me as God striking you down. Do you know for what?” When she received no answer, she shook her head in obvious disgust. “Of course not. Allow me to clue you in. This…” She dug the blade in as much as she could without severing anything important. Not yet. She wasn’t done just yet. “This is for Billy and what you put him through. It’s also for all the other children you’ve undoubtedly tortured over the years. May they find some semblance of peace knowing you will never hurt anyone ever again.”

He opened his mouth, surely to lob more abuse at her, but he didn’t get the chance. In the time it took him to inhale a breath to speak, she had swept the sword away before allowing it to swing back in the opposite direction. It made no sound as it cut into the flesh of Richard’s neck, first severing the artery before decapitating him completely. 

Vox stepped back out of the way of the rapid spill of blood, noting where his head had landed, in the corner over her right shoulder. Her nose wrinkled again, the air filling with the sharp, metallic scent of plasma. The tv continued to play behind her, now showing some sort of Dutch game show. She took the time to produce a handkerchief from her pocket, using it to wipe the blood from her blade, her touch filled with care. She then slipped the katana back into its sheath, shoved the bloody kerchief back into her pocket and pulled up the hood of her sweatshirt as she exited the home and stepped back out into the darkness. 

As she walked down the street and away from the scene, her body was tense, her senses heightened in case something should somehow go wrong. It was only when she made it several blocks away that she began to relax a little. She waited until she’d exited the old part of the city before she pulled out her phone and dialed.

“Vox?”

“It’s done. You never have to worry about him again.”

She heard Billy give a shaky exhale on the other line. “Thank you.” 

Vox found herself smiling softly. “You’re welcome. Get some rest, yeah?”

“I’ll try. See you soon?”

She gave a nod, though he couldn’t see. “Yeah, see you soon.” She hung up and stowed her phone in her sweatshirt. 

It was a relatively quiet walk back to her home. She still kept a vigilant eye out, making sure she wasn’t followed or attracting any unwanted attention. 

Her feet were starting to ache by the time her house came into view. As she started toward the door, she hesitated, noticing a shadow in stark contrast to the light from the security lights overhead. Someone was waiting for her. Her hand drifted to the hilt of her sword once more, prepared to defend herself. 

Then the shadow stood and stepped into the light so she could see who it was. A breath she didn’t know she’d been holding left her in one long gust. She immediately strode forward. 

“What are you doing here? I told you to get some rest.”

Billy gave her a bit of a melancholy smile. “Sorry. I guess...I guess I just didn’t want to be alone.”

The vulnerability in his voice took her by surprise. She had intended on sending him home but right then, she realized she didn’t have the heart to. She hesitantly reached for one of his hands, giving it a firm squeeze. “You don’t have to be.” 

She moved past him to unlock the front door, something that required both a code and a thumbprint. You could never be too careful. Once the door unlocked, she let them both inside, closing the door securely behind her. 

Billy felt on edge, even as he stepped into the stillness of her home. The whole thing with Richard reappearing had tossed his normally calm demeanor out the window. Every moment he felt like he was about to lose it though he didn’t know what exactly he would do when his loose handle on his emotions let go. Maybe scream or curse or cry. All that nervous energy needed to be let out but he didn’t know how to do so without scaring them both. 

His chest felt tight as she turned on the lights and slipped out of her boots. He swallowed hard as his eyes landed on what he now realized was a sword, something he had mistaken for a different weapon. Suddenly it was like he’d been punched in the gut, making it hard to breathe. 

He was gone, he was really gone. Richard would never lay a hand on him or anyone else again. Despite all the terrible memories, that’s all they ever would be. That man would never be able to torture him with his presence again. Billy let out a harsh breath, feeling the tension in his body begin to ease, his warring emotions beginning to settle. It was like a weight had finally lifted from his shoulders after being there for years and years.

Vox slipped the sword from her back and set it down on the table before taking off her hoodie and hanging it up. She noticed the expression on Billy’s face then and came up to him, taking his hands. “Are you okay?” 

Billy nodded, reaching to touch her cheek. He could see the concern in those beautiful green eyes. “I am now,” He assured, “but only because of you.” 

She managed a bit of a smile, leaning into his touch. “You deserve some iota of peace.”

“I may just have it because of you.” Again he leaned into her, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “You are so damn strong,” He murmured, “So damn beautiful and perfect.” 

Her heart thumped fast as he spoke, surprised by the affection clear in his voice. “Have you always thought that about me?” She wondered.

“Yes, practically since the moment I met you.” His lips brushed hers as he spoke.

She closed her eyes, slowly wrapping her arms around his neck, her fingers combing through the silky hair at the back of his head. “You know we shouldn’t be doing this, don’t you?” She felt like an ass as soon as the words left her mouth but there was no taking them back. 

Billy didn’t seem upset with her, kissing her softly. “Trust me, I know.” He assured, hands moving to slide down her back, coming to rest on her hips. “But I just don’t care. If I did, I would’ve stayed away from you after our first night together. I couldn’t though, I just couldn’t do it.” He swallowed, eyes closing. “You have no idea how bad I want you, all the damn time.” He nipped at her lip, pulling her body flush against his. She groaned against his mouth, feeling his hardness press against her from beneath the fabric of their clothes. 

The next thing she knew he had turned her around, pressing her against the edge of the dining table, bending her at the waist. Her breath caught in her throat, not expecting this from him but not wanting him to stop either. She was usually the one in control, the one calling the shots, but it felt nice to let him take the lead for once. 

Billy pressed himself against her ass, not so suitably grinding his hips. He was breathing heavily, a hand trailing down her back, making her shiver. “I don’t give a fuck if I shouldn’t want you. I want you and I know you want me too.” 

She swore, laying her cheek against the cool wood of the table. “Yeah?” She angled herself so she could glance back at him and catch his eye. “Why don’t you do something about it then?”

The grin that spread across his features was absolutely debaucherous. He stepped back, allowing her to straighten up. “Not here,” He explained, “I want to fuck you in your own bed for once.” 

Vox would’ve been lying if she said she didn’t love hearing him say such vulgar things. She reached for his hand again, linking their fingers. “Then far be it from me to keep you waiting.” She had to suppress her own grin, her eyes glinting with mischief in the faint light.

She led him by the hand further into the house, past the kitchen, and to the stairs, the old wood creaking beneath their weight as they climbed up. They passed rooms barely used before reaching the half-open door of the main bedroom. 

A canopy bed stood against the far wall, the sheets and pillows black. A large window dominated the far left wall, but the blinds were pulled closed to hide the light coming from the moon. Opposite that was a large wooden dresser with a few pictures standing atop it. Against the wall near the door were two large bookshelves filled with books, though there was a library downstairs. Vox had a thing about keeping her favorite volumes close. 

Billy closed the door behind them. He turned back just in time to see her sink to her knees. Seeing those beautiful eyes, so filled with spark, looking up at him with open desire was enough to have him aching. He reached to cup her face in his palm, to run his fingers through her hair. Her lips hinted at a smile, hands coming up to touch him through his pants, massaging against the part of him that ached most. 

She’d done this so little, but that didn’t deter her, not when she wanted so badly to make him feel good. She was aware of where she’d just come from, what she’d just done, that in a way, it was twisted that they were doing this now like they were celebrating. She couldn’t bring herself to care. She’d known from the start that they were both just like that, both a little twisted. And, as she unzipped his pants and took the head of his cock into her mouth, she decided she was okay with that. 

Inexperienced as she was, she enjoyed doing this for him all the same. She loved the way his eyes closed, the soft moans he made, the pleasurable feeling of his hand in her hair. She sucked him like her life depended on it, feeling arousal pool deep in the pit of her stomach, every sweet sound from him only adding to it. 

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Billy purred, voice smooth and soft. 

She soaked up the praise, loving the taste of him on her tongue. She swallowed him down as much as she could, using her hands to stroke what she couldn’t take. He seemed to approve, his breath coming in quick pants. 

The longer he let himself enjoy this, the closer he got to the edge and Billy knew he didn’t want this to end so abruptly. It took a good amount of willpower but he made himself release his grip on her hair and pull back. He couldn’t help groaning when his eyes opened and he saw how she looked, hair mussed, lips shiny red and spit slick. He offered a hand and helped her up, unable to resist bringing her in for another kiss. He could taste himself on her lips.

When they parted, he allowed Vox to help him out of his clothes, enjoying the feeling of her hands against his skin. She tugged him toward the bed then, sitting down before lying back, settling against the pillows. She didn’t need to tell him what to do. Within moments, he was climbing onto the bed, slipping her shirt over her head, kissing the bare skin that was revealed. He helped her out of her pants next, lips brushing against her thighs. 

A shiver trailed down her spine as he made his way back up to her face, kissing her sweetly before he continued back down again, this time sliding his hands beneath her to unclasp her bra. That familiar bit of anxiety made her stomach roll uncomfortably but she soon forgot about her self consciousness, a gasp leaving her lips when she felt his mouth on her, goosebumps breaking out across her skin as he lavished attention on her chest. 

She was content to let him do as he pleased, letting her eyes slid closed as he kissed down her stomach. His lips brushed along her hips, fingers teasing the hem of her underwear. She bit her lip when his fingers slipped between her legs, stroking with those long fingers. Billy’s gaze met hers and he grinned, stroking her through the fabric. “You’re so wet already, sweetheart.” His tongue darted out to wet his lips and he looked positively gleeful. 

“I look at you and I get wet.” Vox retorted and that was pretty much the truth. 

His grin only grew wider. He pulled the fabric down and she lifted her hips up to make it easier. Her hands twitched at her sides as she felt his cool breath against her, trying to not fidget, heat rising in her cheeks. 

She let him guide her legs up, his arms wrapping around her thighs. She could barely breathe, her heart hammering away in her chest, every cell in her body aching for more.

Billy leaned in, nosing against the neat thatch of dark hair at the top of her pussy. He knew it was cruel to continue to tease but he couldn’t help it, not when the barest touch had her whimpering softly. He placed kisses over her folds, tongue swiping across his lips to taste her. He groaned at that and finally took her in his mouth, wanting to drown himself in everything that she was. 

She swore under her breath, her back arching up, her hand reaching to tangle in his hair as he tasted her. She groaned deeply as he licked from end to end, dipping his tongue inside her. She loved that he knew exactly which places would make her feel best, that he had learned what she liked and committed it to memory. She couldn’t help grinding against him, her thighs shaking.

Vox let out a displeased whine when he pulled back, opening her eyes to see his mouth pretty pink and wet with her slick. “Fuck, look at you.” She managed, “You look damn good between my thighs.”

He smiled almost shyly, letting go of her legs and surging up to kiss her again. She nipped at his lip, licking her own essence from his mouth. She felt his hand between her legs again, the sound that escaped her when he slid two fingers inside one she would most definitely deny making later. Those long damn fingers slipped in deep, caressing and stretching and filling her up, at the same time too much and not enough. She held onto him, resting her head against his shoulder as he fucked her with those two digits, his free arm around her shoulders. 

“Please…” She struggled to gather her thoughts, too focused on the delicious feeling of his fingers inside her. It was so good, but not enough, not what she really wanted. Every molecule in her body called out for more, a physical ache inside that demanded attending to. She shuddered as he kissed her face and shoulders, grinding down on his hand. “Please, sweetheart, I need you.” 

Billy added a third finger, eliciting another moan from her mouth. “Tell me,” He murmured, dragging his lips along the curve of her jaw, “Tell me what you want me to do to you. I wanna hear you say it.”

Vox whined, another chill racing down her spine at the almost commanding tone in his voice. She liked this side of him, liked that he could give back exactly what she gave out. She lifted her head, meeting those dark, alluring eyes. “Want you to fuck me. Don’t want your fingers,” Her hand slipped down Billy’s body, gripping his manhood, “I want this, I want your fat fucking cock.” 

That wicked grin spread across his face again. A choked off sound came from her as he pulled his fingers free and when he pressed those slick fingertips to her lips, she didn’t hesitate to open up, swirling her tongue over those perfect digits, swallowing down her own taste. “Goddamn. You are just my perfect, dirty sweetheart, aren’t you? You have no idea how often I think about this, about having you all to myself, being the only one in your bed, the only one to know what it feels like to be inside you.” 

She released his fingers with a wet pop. “I wouldn’t get on my knees for anybody else.” 

She would’ve been lying if she’d have said the way his lip curled back over his canines didn’t send a thrill rushing through her. She reveled in the fact that they could be like this with each other so easily, that their dynamic could shift but yet they were both still so in sync. She’d never had that with anyone before, not even Amy. His wild grin was a thing of beauty. 

Though, when he kissed her, she sensed more than simple lust and desire. There was affection there, in his kisses, in his touch, even when it was more than just gentle. Most of all, she felt like he saw her as special, and treated her as such. When she’d seen him waiting for her on her doorstep, when she heard him speak about how he knew this wasn’t safe but yet he didn’t care, she knew he didn’t treat anyone else he spent time with, client or otherwise, the same way. She had wondered for a moment when he kissed her that other night as they danced if all of it was simply because of what she would do for him and had wondered the same thing after she’d done it. 

No, she didn’t think that was what had spurred him to want her like this, to want to be in her own bed. Yes, maybe it had pushed him to action, but there was something already there, something with a soft spot for her. He wouldn’t have done this unless he cared, at least on some level. And, even though her brain refused to put it into words, for that meant having to acknowledge it, she knew deep down, she cared for him too. To what extent, she wasn’t sure exactly. All she knew was that she enjoyed her time with him more than anything else and as dangerous as it was, she couldn’t bring herself to put on the brakes. So, she would continue on this path, but she would tread ground carefully. At least, that’s what she told herself.

Vox was perfectly content to let him decide how he wanted to do this. After everything that had happened in the last few weeks, she was happy to turn her brain off and stop thinking for a while, to allow herself to focus on what he was making her feel, on how good he felt. She was so used to being the one in control and dictating how these encounters went, but it was almost refreshing to let go and let him do as he wished. She trusted him enough to know he would never do anything to make her uncomfortable or hurt her. 

She expected him to guide her onto her hands and knees or something of that nature, but instead, he settled between her legs again, hands sweeping across her thighs. Her toes curled as he took hold of himself, grinding that thick cock against her, the head teasing her opening. “I wanna see that beautiful face when I’m inside you,” He pressed the tip inside, making her gasp softly, “I love watching you like that, love seeing the pleasure in your eyes.” 

She could understand that as she very much enjoyed the same thing when their roles were switched. Billy’s obsidian eyes were dark but that didn’t mean they weren’t expressive. “I love everything about being with you.” She purred, biting her lip as she watched him dig in the nightstand for a condom and slide it into place. She had a brief thought that she wished that they could do this without a barrier between them.  _ Someday.  _ The thought was there and gone before she could stop it. 

The strangled sound that left her lips when he entered her was deep and primal, her hands gripping the sheets in tight fists. “Fuck!” She couldn’t tell which one of them had cursed. Even though they really had been together not too long ago, she felt like it had been way too long since they’d done this. But she felt like that almost all the time it seemed. She had such an appetite for him, something she hadn’t had for anyone besides Amy in her entire life. 

She let him guide her as he pleased and soon she found herself on her side, facing him as he held her close, her body flush with his. She wrapped an arm around him, holding him as close as she could. He leaned into her, their heads resting together, breathing each other’s breaths, swallowing down each other’s moans. His hand gripped her thigh, hitching up over his hip, stroking the creamy skin as he moved against her, sinking himself deep inside again and again. 

“We fit like a damn glove, don’t we?” Billy kissed her and she relished the feeling of his beard scraping her skin as his mouth trailed across her cheeks. 

She wanted to say so much but couldn’t find the words, too overwhelmed with his essence dominating every single one of her senses. She cupped his cheek, losing himself in the depths of his dark gaze. She wanted to stay like this forever, to lock herself at this moment where no would-be killer or abuser could harm either of them. She wanted to forget everything outside of Billy and how good he made her feel every time they were together. 

She felt like she was coming apart at the seams, every breath ragged, the only sounds she was able to make were broken moans and whimpers, her nails digging into Billy’s skin where she held onto him. She moved with him, grinding down on his cock, already so close, wanting to get as much of him as she possibly could. 

“You’re so close, aren’t you, sweetheart?” Billy’s hand was suddenly between her legs again, giving her exactly what she needed. He had a talent for that. 

Vox lasted a few moments more before it all became too much to handle. She kissed him hard, her thighs shaking as she squeezed down on him. Her lips parted as she moaned and he soaked up every second of it, loving the sound of her voice, the pleasure clear in every one of her features. 

Billy rocked against her, once, twice, before he came undone, muffling his moans against her neck. She held onto him as they both rode out their highs. 

When he kissed her again, it was slow and sweet, his fingers pushing the hair back from her face. She sighed against his mouth, feeling content for the first time in weeks. Billy separated himself from her long enough to strip off the condom and throw it away before he brought her back into his arms. He pulled the comforter up over them, letting his head rest against the pillows with her tucked against his chest. 

For a long, while they simply laid together, dozing on and off and as the rain began to patter against the roof above. Vox enjoyed listening to his heartbeat strong beneath her ear. Billy’s fingers skimmed over her skin, over her shoulder and down her arm and across her hip. She noticed that he kept going back over that scar on her hip, the mark of the bullet that had nearly killed her. 

“You’re wondering what the story is, aren’t you?” She asked softly, kissing the skin over his heart. 

“Yeah, a little. I know it’s gotta be more than just a bad job.”

“You’re right, it’s a lot more than that. It’s a long story.”

Billy’s hand stroked down her bare back. “You can tell me if you want. I’ve got the time.” 

Very few people knew why her life was the way it was and she didn’t share much of her life with anyone, both out of fear and caution, but also because she didn’t want to burden someone else with her problems. She didn’t want to put anyone else in harm’s way. At that moment though, she couldn’t see how telling him could do much harm. She knew he would keep her secrets and he already knew more than most. 

And so that was how she found herself going over everything that had happened once again, starting from her childhood and subsequent enlistment, all the way to her friends’ betrayal and Amy’s death. 

“I thought it would be safe here.” She concluded, shivering a little even under the blanket. “I just wanted to be safe, to stop running. But I’m afraid I’ll have to uproot myself again and try to find some new haven if one exists.” She didn’t like that idea at all, but she refused to admit to herself that it was because leaving Billy would be harder than she wanted it to be. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know you don’t want my pity and this isn’t pity, but I am sorry. You didn’t deserve what happened to you.” She felt his lips brush the top of her head. “I can’t imagine dealing with that kind of loss, but it just proves what I already knew, that you’re incredibly strong. I could tell that from the moment we met.”

She felt a little lighter after telling him her story like she didn’t have to carry so much of that burden with her. It was nice to have someone who was willing to hold her secrets without judgment. If their relationship had been even a little different, she wasn’t sure she would’ve felt comfortable enough to share or even do the things they’d done together. She did her best to move closer, enjoying the feeling of their naked skin touching. 

“You must have a story too.” She murmured softly, nuzzling against the hollow of his throat. 

“It’s not nearly as interesting as yours.” 

“I don’t know about that. Interesting or not, I can listen to whatever you have to say.” Billy let out a sigh and she hugged him a bit tighter. “It’s true. But I’m not gonna force you, I hope you know that.” 

There was a long beat of silence, so long that she thought he was going to keep his past to himself and she honestly couldn’t blame him. But, as always, he surprised her. 

“I was born here, on a military base. My dad was in the service, like you. I don’t remember a lot about him, in all honesty. He was killed in a training accident when I was about three. My mom left shortly after that, dumping me at an orphanage and went back to the States. I only found that after I’d gotten older though, when I, for some reason, decided to look into her. I never went to see her, I just had to know. Anyway, growing up in the system here probably isn’t much better than it is back home. Or maybe it is, I honestly don’t know. Richard found me pretty early on and the only way I got out was to run. That’s how I ended up...doing what I do now. It’s all I’ve ever known.”

She lifted her head and met his gaze. “I don’t want you to think I pity you either because I don’t. I understand what it means to have to do whatever it takes to survive and that’s exactly what you did. But you deserved better. You deserved a mother that cared enough to stay. You deserved a foster father that didn’t hurt you. You deserved better.” Vox cupped his face in both hands, leaning her head against his. “But all that, both of our lives, have led us to this, to each other. And for that, I’m grateful, as stupidly sentimental as that is.”

A small smile tugged at Billy’s lips. “I feel the same way.” He kissed her then and she could tell he was being earnest. 

As the rain fell overhead, she curled in close to him as he tucked the blankets around them. The last thing that went through her head before sleep took her was that she was finally no longer alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm saintaleksander on Tumblr.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm saintaleksander on Tumblr.


End file.
